My ♥ aches for a solemn remorse...
from this state I can't turn to w/o/r/s/e
I beseech this demon of you to conceal me o/n/e
L/A/S/T/
wish
&& my wish is to r*i*p* o/f/f this useless mouth
it [always] messes my life {a/r/o/u/n/d}
Let's spin && spind until we F
A
L
L
[AGAIN]
in
*L/O/V/E*
Surrounded by this BIG [BANG!] d*i*l*e*m*m*a
&& for this itch, there's no cure
&& so... I take my last pledging [Goodbye]
take this G/U/N , pull the --xtriggerx--
[BANG!]
I'm
g/o/i/n/g
D
O
W
N
&& 'd/o/n/t try to save me, it's [too] late for that now,
this useless ♥ has found hope and regain permanent sound...
If I
f
a
l
l
[Again]
Learn that my ♥ is weak for pain.....
Author notes
"learn my dear, that love is NOT real...
is the permanent Illness that will keep on devouring our young && ignorant hearts..."-XXVampireeyesXX
"burning like hatred in the back of my throat"
"Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises"
option #1: Dirty Pretty
In a list
- My HM's ( Hopeful Melodies) • next in list
- .:D.i.r.t.y♥P/r/e/t/ty:. • next in list
- My Bronze Beauties • next in list
A contest entry
- Dirty-Pretty [Dark♥Love] by borrowing.moonlight.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ::>Dirty Pretty by Nicotine Eyes.
300 points, ended April 28, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - burning in the back of your throat. by xstarvingartist.
600 points, ended May 15, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dIrTy PrEtTy by poetrytoopeneyes.
600 points, ended June 15, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Words Were Bullets And I Was Target Practice by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended August 11, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Love is the greatest Illness of all... and I'm full of it
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
I enjoyed reading this.
It was beautiful.
You know all the right words!
Powerful writer...that much I'm sure of.
-
I enjoyed your poem alot. I do not have a great understanding of dirty pretty, but I do enjoy reading your poetry in this genre. I would not worry about being panned by the previous reader. Some people can be technocrats.
Great job. Keep writing them.
Mike
-
Do you even know what "dirty-pretty" poetry is? It's more than just letters separated by /,.*
It's emphazing words and ideas with the literal forms of each word and idea. You know the jist, but not the full scale. It's irritating.
There are few saving points in your poetry and that just makes it all the more frustrating.
Sorry to
. \. .I. ./
-- burst --
. /. .I. .\
your
. u.b .
b. - .b
. e. l . -
-
well you havent burst my bubble hun I didnt plan this write to actually be dirty pretty, it was motly meant to be personal. I added the "symbols"to the words I found deep in the write.... I am not a master ot writing but at least I try my hardest
I thank you for your wise advice and your bright point of view, but I have my ways Like you have yours and like I said I;m not a master at writinf but at least I'm good at expressing
-
-
Well, just because this write wasn't planned to be dirty pretty, doesn't disregard the other poems you have in the same category; I've read quite a few of them now and find my reactions to be more expressive.
No one is the 'master of writing' but it's all about honing your skills in certain areas. -
-
mmm I see..what do you mean by more expressive?
Well I'm so sorry my way of seeing dirty pretty affects you, it was nver my intention... if you dont like the write is fine by me, everyone has their point of view which i profoundly admire.... but i do not seem to comprehend what you mean by more expessive, would you be so kind to explain to me that
-
-
-
-
Intense emotions
This is an awesome DP
-
wow, simply wonderful, I really like it. =] very well written and you used the dirty pretty style quite nicely. Thank you for the entry.
-
I like your use of the dirty pretty style. The message in this was very well shown and had great description. My favorite part was the first stanza. Great write.
-
Learn that my ♥ is weak for pain.....
I <3 that line
such a powerful way of ending this amazing poem
♥
{good luck in the contest}
Dead Star--x -
wow. i really like this.
i like they style you wrote it in also.
it really flows.
-
"Love is the greatest Illness of all... and I'm full of it"
I can't explain how much i liked this.good luck in the contest.btw, i'm putting that quote on my page kk?
x♥x
Lucious work hun.
-
Gorgeous!!! I have never really been a fan of dirty pretty but you made it look good!! Very well done and best of luck in the contest
-
Nice job, Gratz on bronze. Thanks && good luck.
-
amazing
♥
-
wow im.... nice this is yet another excelent pice you got here good job
-
i LOVE this. this is very much what i was looking for. wonderful piece and thank you for entering. good luck
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
