Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

To Greet the Sun

The sun has gone away
To come another day
The stars come out
To show all about

For in the moon
There is a ‘coon
That wants to
Come out and play

But out to long
There comes a song
That calls the dawn
And ends the night to day

For then the ‘coon
Said “It is to soon,
I want to stay out
And see the day”

“To greet the sun
That would be fun”
Until the day
It blew him away

Author notes

This is out the randomness of my head. It may not be what your going for on the contest, but this is what came to me.

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • HaleyMary
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write. Lots of imagery in this. The ending seemed interesting. Made me think of supernovas. Maybe that's not how you meant it, but that's what came to my mind. Best of luck in the contest.


  • l33tm4n
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    HAAHAHA!!!! +#|$ is great |>03/\/\ m4n. 7|-|3 {\/}3455463 15 quiet \/\/#|+y. The raccoon up there was a very interesting idea, good reference to the nocturnal world. Good job with it.

    Raccoons!! Quick lock the garbage.

    ~l33tm4n


  • janejainejayne gold member
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!

    This is whimsical...so many associate night with the dark side of life but night has light and beauty and humor...my neighbor tells me there is a coon on my roof in the moonlight...you poem was great! Jane


  • ixtli
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Sometimes, randomness produces great results! Nice job! Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!


  • cherche -d -ame
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the sense of humour that this was written with as well as that your rhyme scheme seemed to flow perfectly[ in my humble opinion anyway]Best wishes in this contest,
    reenie


  • shopaholica
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem
    But what's a "'coon"?
    And I think it should be:
    "The sun HAS gone away "
    instead of
    "The sun IS gone away."

  • Raining Moon
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Its really good. I especially like how simple it is. Some poems are so complicated you don't get them.=D

1 - 8 of 8