Lightning strikes.
Thunder makes his sultry, red stampede
through the muddled, dark expanse.
I race to find my porch
(still creaking)
and swing wide the lumbering door
of this fortified, whitewashed dwelling.
Gasping.
Then trembling.
I shiver in the wind-blown rain—-
that cool fervor
that tingles against a freckled chest
still uncovered by the silken, cobalt robe
pulled tight
against my form.
Weeping.
Then crying aloud.
I scream into the interrupted night
and beg that soothing tempest
to court the raging silence
long settled in my soul,
wooing her
into liberated submission!
Author notes
Picture:
http://www.stormblogging.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/orangelightning.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- Celebration Time - Invite Only by Laura Lamarca.
1750 points, ended April 2, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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If I were rain,
I would spit in lucky drops, crystal inhibition,
douse your blouse with much to whisper,
chill your bumps in rising assumption,
temple quivering what grows grass,
to lie indented, as shadows pass.
I do love this one
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WoW this was fantastic.
Love the pic the poem is sensational. All in all
Delila
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The storm image you create is real and immediate. I could feel my pulse accelerating with every stanza. I was swept up in the verse because the wording was descriptive, yet you did not use unnecessarily complex language. "Gasping then trembling.." "Weeping, then crying.." a beautiful progression of emotions. Congratulations on your bronze trophy. Peace, Liz
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So cool, Liz. I love it when I can create a physical response in my reader. Thats an effect i was going for, for it was as I felt it, but sometimes its difficult to gage whether the reader will take it in as you intend it when you write it. So thanks for the encouragement!!!
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The opposites in this piece were fantastic and the format is very creative. Every time I read this I find something new and intriguing within its depths. An excellent sharing well deserving of the award it received. Thank you for entering my contest and sharing in my birthday
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What a great compliment. Thank you so much, Laura!
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Excellent "Thunder makes his sultry, red stampede." Nice visuals with "freckled chest" and "cobalt robe."
The counterpoints of "soothing tempest" and "raging silence settled in my soul," with the idea of opposites neutralizing each other, gives pause for reflection, as does "liberated submission." Enjoyable write from the prompt pic.
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Thanks so much, Diane, for your great comment. I loved using all the opposites to create a paradoxical reality. I remember when I wrote this, I started with a couple opposites, quite accidentally, then realized what I had done,and decided to go with it!
Thanks for stopping by! -
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Ah, the creative mind! It looks at what it has, makes necessary adjustments, and proceeds with style!
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Full and rich with its story telling and I feel the cool wind against you as I read this. Well done. Love, C
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Thank ya, gal!
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Excellent!
I so enjoy reading your works. You put just the right touch on each piece.
I really think this is up there with the greats.
Keep on letting that ink pour forth. Love The Pic.
-Timothy aka poeticweaver
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