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Ultimate Betrayal

Walking together in the shadowy night

With you by my side
Drops of rain fall
My eyes twinkle in the moonlight
And my heart fills with bliss
You are the love of my life

But then
You turn your head
And release my hand
Another girl awaits you arms
And your adoring touch
Who is this stranger invading my life 

This perfect and elegant girl

That would cleave me apart
And take him away

Why would she do this to me


You came to me
And said its done
You had been seeing her for so long
And never told me
Why would you do this to me
Can't you feel my furry
I thought we had it all
But I was wrong

Author notes

Username:
KittensPaw

A contest entry

Is that ok???

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Blooming Poet
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the prompt. he title could mean so many different things, but you made it mean something amazing. Loved this part:

    But then
    You turn your head
    And release my hand
    Another girl awaits you arms


  • Perception
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hm... I like the idea behind this one.. the images are ok.. But, I myself - i like beautiful nature poems with amazing descriptions... (that's how I write) So, in my opinion this doesn't cut it.

    I want more power. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!? Except not like that. In better words. Beautiful speech something! Emotion!

    ~


    • BeautifullyBroken42
      April 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yea its pretty rought but it is for a contest just FYI and like i said i'm bad with that sort of stuff and if anyone says that "Ruth, you shouldn't be if poet if that is the case." well screw them I'm learning, k????? so yea thanks!


      • Perception
        April 1, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Every one is learning, hun.

        ~ Keep at it, K?

        • BeautifullyBroken42
          April 1, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          K i will!!! Being 12 its really hard. and yea i'm 12 it just says 16 on my page so that it stops doing the "you are under 15 and can't view this"

          • Perception
            April 1, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            That's cool. I started writing when I was twelve too

            Just keep practicing (I know that's horrid right), but you will get better


  • Simply Simple
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *First comment dance* Alrighty then... now that that is done. Here goes. This was good. Interesting. A bit sad but well worded and it conveyed a lot of emotion. Well written and good luck.

1 - 7 of 7