I wish you were here
to hold close and dear
but now you're gone
what did I do wrong
to deserve such a fate
full of violence and hate
losing you was the worst part
for you were my whole heart
I really don't know what to do
cause the reason for living was you
I can't believe you're no longer here
I still hear your whisper in my ear
I feel that sweet kiss at night
and the arms that held me tight
the eyes that saw right through me
who was the beholder of my key
you were everything to me
but now you're living with the angels,free
I hope you're up there looking down
upon me without a frown
A contest entry
- ~♥~ Hopeless Romantics and Other Sad Love Poems ~♥~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything =D You Want by XXWolfOfInsanityxX.
600 points, ended June 25, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's All About the Rhyme by BlackSwan.
600 points, ended July 27, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - loosing a loved one by karas.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 46 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Superb
You deserved a gold for this one.
I tried to make mine rhyme but didn't obtain the flow and meaningful diction you did. Congradulations.
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Sweet, heart-wrenching- Beautifully done
-Good Luck -
Wonderfully done
-GL in contest -
awww I really like this but yet so sad I know how you feel I'm sorry for your loss anyway good job and good luck in the contest =]
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Thank you so much. Danielle was that person who whispered in my ear when I need it. Things like, "Mylee I love you." or "Myles, you can do this. Be strong"
thank you for the entry
Mylee -
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thank you for the comment and I'm glad you had such a great friend.
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Interesting write. Very heartfelt, but I asked for no rhyme. Please read the rules next time.
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Very nice piece, heartfelt with a natural rhythm and rhyme. Thanks for the great entry. Hugs, Bunny
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thanks
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wow!!!
this is really good!! even the rhyme seems natural!! it really is a truly wonderful write!
"but now you're living with the angels,free" <--favourite line.
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thanks for the lovely comment!
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This is so moving, and a great dedication to one you have lost.
You have captured emotion exceptionally well, and your flow is something that I find faultless.
The only thing to fix up is in the third last line. "Angles" should be "angels".
Thank you for entering, and I wish you luck. -
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thanks for the comment! and I'll fix that in a sec! thanks for the help
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Nicely done, heartfelt write. Thanks for entering and best of luck!
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thanks
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sad and emotional...
Best wishes and good luck
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thanks for the comment and the luck again
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Very sad piece. I understand your pain and it's sad when you lose someone you care for, no matter what the circumstance.
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This is a really great, sad romance poem! It's kind of a clichéd idea, but that doesn't mean that it can't be good. The other aspect of this that I really like is that it is a rhyming poem that flows well. I find that rhyming poems are usually the ones that I am most harsh on if they don't flow, but they are also the ones that I marvel at if they do flow - because I have trouble getting mine to work well. Anyway, this is a great poem! Great job and good luck in the contest!
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this is really good but really sad. =/ is it about your grandparents or parent? well any way its really good and this time im not going to point out a favorite part cause the whole things good =] great jobXD
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