Night In

Breathing in and out so quickly
And it burns me
I can feel it blazing trails to my insides
The air leaves tracks on my nostrils
I’ve gotta stop inhaling these streams of consciousness
They’re eating me alive
Lean out the screened window
A gust forces its way through me
Leaving me with temporary relief
Clarity
Dousing my inflamed insides
The night is cold.
I can taste snow in it
When did October nights start getting so damn cold?
And a floorboard somewhere creaks
I’m stiff – but loose, malleable
(I could start doing yoga or pilates or some shit –
Never, too lazy anyway)
This pen won’t write fast enough
To keep up with my state of mind
It’s only 9 PM but I’m too tired for anything except
Curling up here by a half-frozen sill
Trying to convince myself to move.
It’s avoidance at all costs
But I can’t handle it
Too pricy after all?