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The Dance

The dance was sweet,
the two tall trees were dancing together,
along with one thought on their mind..
his eyes of china blue stared right into mind,
his skin of a light amber shade ,

he started to bring me in tight and pressing me to his chest.

He place his lips to mine and I felt the ground give way. 

Author notes

A love from a long time ago. I still go to this memory often and wishing we were still together.

A contest entry

What did you like most about it? and dose it need any thing els?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your lovely entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • EmmaLuLu
    April 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    real love <3


  • ea silver member
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry, I don't see any reason given for why this was deleted from the contest but you need to change He's to his in l. 4. Best of luck elsewhere with this.

  • ichigosama
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    were you at an actually dance? great imagery. i love love poems. thanks for entering.


  • urapns66
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great job really like the write, good luck!


  • aj.vamp
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it sounds beautiful. Its really is a great poem. Well written. The details are magnificent. Plus i am a sucker for love poems.


  • urapns66
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great job this is a really nicely written poem the only mistake I actually found was in the part i liked the most:
    "he started to bring me in tight and pressing me to his chest.

    He place his lips to mine and I fleet the ground give way. "
    just the last part there i think you meant felt?
    but any way good job!


  • Sandygram silver member
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely poerm you have penned about a sweet memory. Thank you for shaing it with you.

    Take care,
    Sandy


  • Valley Girl silver member
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I felt like I was there when reading this. As per your AN, I completely understand why you would want to visit this memory often, it is something that should be cherished, despite the outcome. Thank you so much for entering my contest, and best of luck.

1 - 9 of 9