Long ago, I painted a portrait of someone dear,
Rendered fully from lip to lip, ear to ear.
I studied the face diligently and truly.
However, my teacher could only see
The eyes and its major flaw,
An absence of soul, its divine awe.
I put away the painting and left it alone,
It was sufficient with all its tints and tones.
How the lesson comes back to me,
When you pass, my mind registers what I see.
Oh, how the poetry comes from you.
I write in rhyme, not to flatter, but to be true.
The ancient, forgotten art by our youth,
This poetry is the ultimate expression of truth.
I dare not to think I can render you through hue and line,
But, I get excited to sing of you through beats and rhymes.
How can I show the people when I notice your perfume,
And how it reminds me of the scent of the Garden of Souls,
A place in my wasteland of a psyche, where I used to write verse upon verse
With a young man’s ambition, his great stupidity and tireless passion,
The likes of you would teleport me to places,
And write of all the interesting lands I went-
Oh, forgive the loss of rhyme, I went on a tangent.
My God, It’s It’s Deja vu, I swear it.
From the sound of your voice to the way you’re lit.
Are you a meticulously detailed doppelganger,
Or are you a woman far far different from her?
I hope you are the latter, for I don’t want to repeat history,
I’d rather enjoy the Now, me and you, you and me.
Let’s be foolishly young, let’s do wrong.
Let’s not sing an old sung song,
But compose our own honest, stupid, stupid tune
And try to touch the glowing sands of the moon
While still standing idly on the spinning Earth,
My plan isn’t well thought out, but for what its worth,
This plan is as genuine as a young man’s can get.
However, it can’t work on a promise, but only a bet.
In this plan, there is an ever-present danger,
But still, we got to confidently and gladly place the wager.
Just ask anyone who’s won the jackpot,
Grand prizes are won only with wills, not will nots.
A contest entry
- Inspire Me and Make Me Feel Good! by Poetic Butterfly.
900 points, ended April 15, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm looking for favourites!!! :) by Luckintheshadows.
625 points, ended July 11, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love the way this poem swings back and forth between rhyme and free verse. Your words are honest and passionate and this poem really made me smile.
I'm sorry you didn't put your AP name in the author notes.
But thanks you for sharing this and for taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
this was a very enjoyable read. Some of the rhyme was forced for example went and tangent ... my ear is happier with went and spent...vent...bent ... descent percent ...
lots of things meet my ear with a smoother sound that tangent. Maybe my emphasis though. Anyhow thank you for the entry. -
Aw thanks for this write. It really made me smile. Love the rhyme(big on that) Love this..."I dare not to think I can render you through hue and line,
But, I get excited to sing of you through beats and rhymes."
Very sweet and great write
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Cool
Ah thanks! I appreciate the positive comment.
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