dear Winston,
when you ask
for one more under-the-stars-moment
or another of your damned see-you-in-the-moons
just remember this poem: a portrait
that still cracks the wall
Author notes
will tweak
In a list
A contest entry
- dear......., by Nicolette.
1100 points, ended April 14, 2008, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Namita this is spectacular, a perfect dear poem. You manage to show a hush of imagery within the words. Each line has something to offer, very very beautiful.
Excellent write young lady
HENSLEY
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Stunning! Marvelous freshness in this little cliffhanger.
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congrats to you Nami girl - lovely, as always, and from the heart
*applause again*
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You are a true genius!
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excellent~
I heard of you through one of Mari-Goes my sis here on AP and had to pop over and read one of your poems...
I am glad I did..was amazed with this read...
Short and to the point...
This is excellent and also nice to meet you
Do hope you drop by and give one of my poems a read as well
Hugs
Susan~~~
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dear winston, get your act together lad, and make this girl smile...
damnit.. yes
the person on the wall, should always smile, i've been a wallflower too in my day hun, still am in many ways..
this is perfection...
G.x
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wonderful! Its amazing how u present ur views without using wordiness! There is just so much intensity and wonder in your write that leaves me very impressed!!
GOod luck!
pri
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Excellent dear letter! You said it all using solid imageries and deep feelings.
Well done Indian flower
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oh man. at fourteen, you're quite a handful
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looks goood!
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I love the changes you've made here, Namita. This is beautiful and a very poetic note!!
I agree with my Guy here below... i too would remove "that" - and also perhaps put the last line as one sentence to stay within the 6 lines limit - but those are minor "thingies".
Stellar poetry, indeed. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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you always amaze me with your blend of 1,000 year old wisdom and 14 year old innocence.
my only criticism would be to remove the word 'that' before 'still cracks'
a portrait
still cracks
the wall
still, it's darn good either way
stellar
thanks for entering
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Sorry, I thought I commented this love. It is beautiful. Don't change anything about it.
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You sad?
No matter what, this is beautiful. You're one of my favorite poets!
Good luck in the contest.
~lluvia
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Such an acute sense of reality and you are only 14?? You are an "old soul".... awesome!
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this is beautiful just the way it is. i thought you could do something with the ending. but i think i was wrong. don't touch it....
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Wow,
Your 14!
You are an excellent writer. 
Keep up the great works here. Love the way ya worded this.
All the best within this contest, peace~
-Timothy aka poeticweaver
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