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Father I bow before your mercy seat
Asking You for help......my life is bittersweet
Everything's colliding and I'm sorry I let You down
Lord I'm crying out for You, my heart is bound
I trust in You, because You're all that I've got
Before.....I've let You down, and Your presence......
I had never sought
Until now, because I realize that You're always there
I just never realized it
The world casts its judgment upon me
My world is falling apart, but you tell me not to flee
You lift up my head, You know that I have a purpose
You tell me I'm special and annonited
I feel as though I don't deserve it...........

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  • CurtimusMaximus
    April 25, 2008

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    Its great to know you can!

    Its great to know you can go to Your Father when everything seems to be coming down. Keep writing the words that point our hearts to the Lord! A couple of form observations: Check spelling on "coliding", " annointed". Capitilize "I've". Write "Everything's" You consistently refer to the Lord as "You" throughout the poem. The "realize" and "realized" in lines 8 and 9 is redundant. Your line lengths vary a lot; is this your intent? What's with the skull and crossbones border?

    Your poem reminds me of Psalm 42 and 43. Thanks for writing.


  • The Cube
    April 23, 2008

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    Some grammaticle errors here and there (Mostly uppercase letters where needed) But I don't much look at that in poetry. This is a well done poetry done in a conversational form. It has depth to it as a person realizing their sins and that they do deserve what may become of them in the end. You don't find many people that will stand to take the blame for themselves, or realize that some mistakes are their own fault. This kinda reminds me of a song called "Bak Et Halleluja" by Kaizer's Orchestra too. A Dutch song that is kinda funny to listen to but has lyrics (in Dutch) kinda like this.

    All in all a good write and read.


  • SomeGirlYouKnew
    April 14, 2008

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    this poem is kind of choppy.
    i like the idea of it, and i think its well organized, it could just use some rewording and editing.

    a few things are misspelled as well.

    however, i enjoyed reading this. good job. keep writing.