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Concoctions Of Placebo Love

I have kissed the lies that you
have whispered in the guise of true love.
It mattered little when your fibs
slipped past my ribs to graze my soul.

For I too was lying with you,
and it was the blissful friction that made
truth out of the fiction of your eager touch.

But it is in the wee hours when you
are lying with another that my breath
is smothered by the absence of what's real.

Then I wallow in the shallowness of what we share,
becoming aware of a cold and bitter puddle of tears.

It is then when I question the reasons
why you give substance to the treason of your heart,
and I script an unheard rant of angry words
that never pass my lips under the spell of you,
as lies become your warm and vibrant flesh
when once again we mesh as questions flee my mind,
on how deceit, could ever be so sweet
and why must it always be so kissable?"

Author notes

19. "I kissed the lies. Why must they be so kissable?" -- "Summer Shudder" by AFI.

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  • OhNoChastity
    April 2, 2008

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    I love where you took this quote. The name itself is great. The words twist you and you need to think about their meaning. I think it's great that you took the quote and made it into a story and then applied the poetry to that story. This didn't seem like a rant about being (what I believe to be) the "other" while the significant other is in a steady relationship. Although this emotional matter is one we see often, it didn't seem cliche because the writing is done well enough that it loses it's prose factor and becomes a poem.

    The slight rhyme you used was well done. I like that you didn't concentrate on keeping the poem locked in a specific format, yet still had words that rhymed slipped in. This showed the use of poetic devices and that you were considering your word use.

    I love the line "why you give substance to the treason of your heart." It's a beautiful way to word what could be said as just a "lie" and it gives, shall we say, substance to the lie. It isn't just a lie, but he or she is lying for a reason.

    I have to be honest. I usually don't like when people use a part of the prompty in the poem itself, but you used it well and properly. It didn't distract me and it seemed to fit. You changed it around enough that it wasn't someone else's writing in your own. It also gave a powerful ending to the rant and mindset of a distressed lover. It showed the justification behind their actions, and linked the poem itself directly to the prompt.

    Good job! Thanks for entering, and I hope to see more poetry by you.

    -Jen