My life....

My Stomach does flipflops my eyes cry so many tears.
I finally lost everything that I held so dear through the years.
My mom gave me up at birth,and has nothing to do with me.
My dad was around only for a couple of years, then decided he was through with me.
I think I wasn't good enough or what he had hoped I would be.
My brother died when I was seven I didn't know I couldn't bring him back from heaven. I miss him a lot, I used to think it was my fault. I was supposed to protect him since he was only four, oh lord he was way to young to go this much I know.
My other sibilings were taken from me, by my parents which you see has left me in this chaos of misery. I was the one that raised them since I was five until that time when the government decided to step in and take me away from my kin when I was in the end of my 8th grade year it caused so my tears.
The one that raised me died last year in August I didn't even get to say goodbye it made me want to cry for she was my mom's mom and my mom all in one.
My mom's dad is still alive but wishes he was gone too which tends to make me blue.
Now I live with my grandmother that died's brother, my aunt, and my cousin they are here for me and understand that my life has been more then a little chaotic and full of much sorrow, but it is really kind of hard to make them really understand just what I am going through and have been through.
My father's sided just gave up on me and it really made me cry.
I wonder what I did so wrong to be born in such a disfunctional mess.
Maybe god thought it would end up making me stronger, Oh I do wish I knew what could he possibly be preparing me for in life that I had to go through so much.
There is more of this sad, sad tale but I just don't think I could handle trying to put it all in to words.
All I know is that after all I have been through I seem to have made it and I know I will eventually understand it.
It is like that which did not kill me ended up making me who I am today a strong, realistic, caring, hard working, and helpful person. Who knew I would end up being this away. My only fear is that I will not be a good enough person, or parent someone that someday my parents might be proud of and I hope I find that one person to love.