Twisted threads of reality fray,
lines of sanity sever.
Silent voices calling me down further,
ever further from who I once was.
Once mighty resisting the elements,
now withered and falling, roots torn asunder.
Cut away from where once, I was grounded.
Reborn from my death in a deluge of darkness,
slivers of memory drowning in frozen water.
(to be continued)
Author notes
PT. 2 D.O.A.M.
PT. 1
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3149578
link to the art.
http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs19/p/2007/228/7/7e7c231c6d334159.jpg
A contest entry
- Picture prompts by SpiceRack.
500 points, ended April 1, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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this had some really deep and dark elements...thank goodness for our art-a great place to release these feelings and emotions...I'll be looking for the next part to this piece...
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Well composed...a dip in the dark pool I see, but well done! Enjoyed the read my friend ~Tia
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Dark and descriptive, a very captivating write and I am sure an unfinished journey!
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You sound very sad. I do hope
Part II comes with a bit more
hope - Congratulations on your
trophy win.
WW -
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Actually this is part two
I am writing a story that is comprised of short poems that stand on their own and at the same time fit back into the story line. Pt 1 is Mental Mastur.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3149578
D.O.A.M. stands for diary of a madman thus the sad and dark nature of these pieces.
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The bristle cone pine is one of the oldest living trees on the planet. Withered and sere, it has the look of death, with only one or two scarce green, scarce living branches here and there. Great poem. I look forward to reading more.
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i loved it!!! this is a great write. just one thing.......what does sever mean???? soz, im SOOOOO dumb!!!!!!! lol xx
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fantasticly written
I really loved the imagery here. Your words ran through me, and left me in wonder of how this may end.
This poem for me, feels like a heartbreak.
Where the twisted coils of love reach down, where they were once rooted, and were pulled away by the one in whom they were so desperatly attached. Violently uprooted, and leaving you on the brink of slight insanity, not sure what you are left with. Feeling severed from all reality, leaving all memories submerged into the icy depths of despair. All in all, what this poem left me with a powerful image of darkness, despair, and a possible survival at the end?
Good write poet.
and I hope to read more of your work.
Ashley [MISTAKE]
[SuicideBride] -
good take on the picture
the picture speaks to me of deep, dark depression ending with survival... though survival to what is the question.
solid write
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Spot on
You got it exactly survival to what is the question the answer will be unveiled as this tale continues.
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.... wow... I am left speechless... This is wonderfully written... you really left me with a powerful image...
I really like what you have done here, poet...
Great job
and you really deserved that trophy - this is wonderfully written... -
Wow...this was both mournful and mysterious, while remaining seductive at the very same time. The imagery here was a true delight, and word choice was superb. Nicely done...Bravo!
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haunting images, very lovely wording. Beautiful piece!
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omg to be continued huh? cant wait! i loved it, very good write
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I love your alliteration and use of sibilance. I love your words they have deffinately been carefully chosen unlike some poets who rush their work. fantastic write I cant wait to see the next part
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Yikes!!! Intense seems to light of a word
I shall read on and see if the rest will follow Excellent work ~Tia
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Intense
Buddy reading your poem, can't wait for the continuation... so much despair and pain your words spill its heart breaking that makes it heartfelt... emotional darkness prevails behind dark clouds losing light of hope that though still flickers for you are alive and breathing... as long as we breathe, we can't lose hope even if we want to... its always there only we lose sight of it at times ... great write that I can relate to ... I hope things are doing great with you... congratulations on your trophy buddy... take care Minoo
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I like that
Good luck and thanks for entering :] -
chilly... but good :) Love, Lane
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my dear one - the write speaks profoundly of a languid spirit deluged in mental darkness as one trudges to empower themselves beyond lifes disdain of lost hope. well done and many blessings always xxx best of luck in the contest
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