Afternoon light makes the roses glow
a transcendent shade of red,
neither pinkish nor harsh
Perhaps as if a drop or two of orange sun
were blended in, bright and happy,
roses creamy like acrylic paint
Pink ones sweet as icing on cake;
iris, her leaves translucent green,
a patch of daisy like flowers
All gleefully dancing and pretty;
it is quite difficult not to rejoice
like them in this spring vision.
Banana trees watch the wind playing
shadow games with weeping branches
and brushing the tresses of palms
Even plumeria has deigned to participate;
and on his way home for the evening,
a butterfly hurries by briefly.
The afternoon brings to mind Monet in his boat
on the Seine, studying reflections of sunlight;
here, these concrete steps will suffice
As fern leaves glisten such that
they appear without any color,
simply grains of brilliance
The clouds, as usual,
unto themselves, are
like prophets in the sky
Atop his perch, one bird whistles,
to his heart's content and mine;
the invitation to April.
Author notes
Florida
A contest entry
- Prewrite Fiesta ... 30 poets by Musafir.
370 points, ended April 9, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A SENSE OF PLACE by Suzianne.
475 points, ended August 14, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I appreciate constructive criticism.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is such a beautiful poem. I loved all the imagery. I felt I was looking at all this plants and things as you decribed them. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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Well done.
This has the style and grace of a Monet. You have brought the Florida scene to life in a wash of light and pastel. It is a beautiful word-picture.
Good luck with the contest. -
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Thank you so much
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Nice poem with nature and blended beauty.
I liked the ending.
Best wishes and good luck,
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You certainly found the perfect combination of language and imagery...I could see the "plumeria", I could smell the "roses". Using your words to elicit an emotional response from a reader is what poetry is all about!
Banana trees watch the wind playing
shadow games with weeping branches
and brushing the tresses of palms
--these lines are not only beautiful, but they flow deliciously, especially when read aloud!
At the dawn of Spring, this is a perfect poem to get us all in the mood for sunshine and growth...a magical time of year! Bravo.
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Ah, if only those concrete steps
could know how blessed they are
by the art in the mind of the poet
who sits upon them, creating,
relecting God's panorama.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Aesthete
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Oh you are so good to me!
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Just using my perceptive artist eye
to reveal what I see---and tell about it!!!!!
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I dIsAgRee WiT iNfInItE.mAgIc!!!tHe ImAgRy IsNt oVeR WhElMiN!!!i lYk It!!It GiVeS mE a ImAgE oF wAt U Was SeEiN!!!i tHiNk IF U JUs FoCuS oN oNe Or TwO ThInGs DeN tHe ReAdEr MiTe NoT UnDeRsTaNd FuLlY wAt Ur TrYiN tO GeT oUt!!!So...u dId A gReAt JoB!!!kAnT wAiT tO rEaD mOrE oF uR wOrK!!!
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Thank you so much
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I like it, it's very descriptive and nice but I find that the poem and all it's imagry to be a bit overwhelming, why not try to focus on one or two things like just the flowers and define april in that way?
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You make a valid point about narrowing the focus.
I put so much imagery into this poem because I just really felt like writing when I was sitting outside today
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Very descriptive.
You put the reader there with your highly descriptive passages. I can hear a bird singing outside my window each night. It is as if he is singing me goodnight. But the flowers and the smells of them come through as you penned this. -
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Thank you
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Lovely imagery and your use of colour made the poem even more beautify. Thank you
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