Standing above my grave, eerily still
The closest spoken breath recessed deep, within my death.
Buried in words like encyclopedias of earth
Eating at me since... cobwebbed innocence.
Tainted by thought and through the eyes of others
They see right through me and into themselves, differently.
This is where things change, at the point where they remain the same. I am who I am, but not who I was, and who I was… was whom I was supposed to be. So why then, am I me?
Standing above my grave, teary-eyed
My heart embraced atrocities, not love
And so, we’ve grown apart.
Energies entangled, separating
Drawn and quartered, mind liquating
Wind – Fire and acidic rains like flaming hail.
I am the next plague, first born and out of breath.
Lingering on to suffer the agony of death
Chained with barbed vine, frozen film covering my eyes…
… Subsisting, in hollowness
Until the end - of time.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2008
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Okay, I wont write, hey this was a great write, lol. I did like the mourning over the loss of self, or who the self thought they were supposed to be. I found it to be, for me, a poem about self dicovery. Sometimes we discover the good. Sometimes, we discover all that we lack.
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Can't believe I missed on commenting this one...!!!
Anyways, as always, you ask questions in your poetry, reveal your stunning vocabulary, and your thoughts of death...
My favorite lines:
"The closest spoken breath recessed deep, within my death."
Apart from sounding poetic and rhyming in a non-contrived way, I love your use of the word 'recessed'--not one I encounter in poetry much.
"encyclopedias of earth"
I love the double -e's.
"cobwebbed innocence."
Great visuals.
The fourth stanza kind of makes me think of Shakespeare's "To be or not to be..." in the sense of it repeating itself in a different way, if that made sense.
Suspenseful ending...nicely done, once again.
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I am who I am, but not who I was, and who I was… was whom I was supposed to be. So why then, am I me?
Incredible writing Jaye, the above is just mind boggling, and only you have the answers. This is one that will stay with me for a while, questioning the why's...sometimes it is easier to just be, shedding the why's and boldly walking forward.
I am sure I will be back to read this one again.
~B.
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The middle was so powerful!!
"I am who i am..." As weird as it is...despite the yuckies in life, we are always 'me.' don't you think that the atrocities change, or, alter...transform the first mold? dunno, i'm spinning on that thought there. stop making me think so much! 
another part that i loved, was when you said "And so, we’ve grown apart." -the old you and the current you?...right? YEAH. that was friggin' cool! we, as though the old you is still residing within.
*R
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Isn't it scary...to face yourself standing above your own grave...facing so much....thinking about yourself as a plague....
I am sure you're one of the sweetest persons one could ever meet
....some dark humor...but a friend for life...
I am sure of that...and I hope I can read your dark writes for loooooooooooooong...
XXJeannette
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A potent piece here my brother, very haunting.
I would tell you how much I enjoyed,
if your thoughts would not hit home as hard..
You paint a grim portrait, and it sticks with the reader I'm sure.
This makes you a very good poet, and should go down as one of the greats.
P e a c e to p i e c e s.
-Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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