There was something hanging from me, when I woke
It wiggled and wobbled, when I laughed at a joke
It was pasty and white, and filled with soft jelly
Turns out, this revolting new friend was my belly
It said, "psst, hey you, would you look at my size"
I said "Knock if off, go away!" while I rolled my eyes
"It's because of you, I'll have to buy all new shirts"
Then it said "You go do that, I'll go grab some desserts"
I said "Listen-up, fatty, I'll have you know
I never invited you here, so please go"
But go, it sure didn't, for instead it just giggled
Making chubby, wave-like ripples as it jiggled
Then it said so smug, "Listen to me now"
"My dear host, you did invite me, here's how"
By introducing to me, the junk you've ingested
and instead of exercising, you just rested"
The greasy-good food, like fries that are French
and the soda you assigned to your thirst for to quench
You should be thankful I didn't expand to the south
Or to the north creating extra chins for your mouth
So say hello to me, I'm your new chubby friend
Chances are, I'll be here 'til the end
With your best effort, so slowly I'll recede
Cuz I'm planted here for good, not unlike a seed"
So I said "Now don't tick me off, I'm a reasonable guy!"
It said "Oh really?.......HEY! How bout we go eat some pie?"
Well that was it for me, I'd had quite enough
I said "Alright fatty, now we're playing rough!"
So I threw on socks, and leaped into some shoes
I could see my tubby friend getting confused
I ran hard, and fast, trying to shake him loose
but so tenacious was my forward-facing, chubby, caboose
I tried jolting it loose, making hard turns to the right
Then harder to the left, but he just hung too tight
I tried twisting, and jumping, and shaking so hard
I tried hitting it with tools that I use in the yard
But evidently my new, revolting fat guest
Made himself a home, just south of my chest
So I said "Fine, you win, you rotund butterball
But let's make one thing clear, I don't like you at all!"
In a list
A contest entry
- Something To Divert Me (pre-writes allowed) by piccola.
700 points, ended June 27, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Humour by georgie.
800 points, ended November 18, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My baby's Birthday. by Myjoy.
1750 points, ended February 3, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Children's Poetry by Animals.
550 points, ended May 1, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Try Your Hardest... Because It Is really hard to do with me. by SheWasPreternatural.
797 points, ended May 31, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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lmfao hahaha
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Lol this was good, you did a great job on this poem. I love the way you talk about fatty. Thank you it was a pleasure to read.
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Hilarious
This is hilarious! A little long, but worth the while. I really enjoyed reading it thank you so much for entering.
Good Luck!
- Animals
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now thats how to get a morning giggle going. very well my friend very well lol
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hehe it made me giggle
i love the rhyming, you made it work perfectly
....i love this poem except the fact that at the end the speaker seems to give up on losing the weight....but that just might be me..
o nd i loved the use of personification and the personality of the "jelly belly" -
this is excellent you did a marvelous job with this piece I love it!!!
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Boy this hits close to home. Thanks for giving me a laugh about my ugly new friend.
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Cute one.
I should let my surgeon read this one as I have to have hernia repair next week. He said I would not have a belly button.
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lol... i love how ur having conversations with your belly.... guess ur as insane as me lol, good luck,
hugs,
shane and georgie,
xxx -
""You go do that, I'll go grab some desserts"" I laughed out loud and then covered my mouth and laughed to myself so as not to wake hubster. This is very funny. Thanks so much for entering
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ROFL i nearly fell of my chair laughing!! *giggles hysterically* great write!!
xoxox zoe <3 -
LMAO! OMG...soooo funny! I have tears streaming down my face! Lol. I actually had to stop and recompose myself to continue reading. I love it! You are good at the humour thing...Keep it coming!
alby
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haha.. oh man.. my sides are going to bust open..lol. I love it...lol.. great write hun...
Jetleena
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lmao! I... cant.. breath!. ha THis is my fav of your humorus ones!
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