Sad
a shade of blue
the color of the tears you shed
the color you feel the saddest with
weeping
happens a lot with friends
someone moves or dies
someone breaks up with you
boyfriend and girlfriend
of just a regular friendship
holler
you want to try to keep
that friendship of yours
I have been doing that to
two girls I love very much
trying to keep our friendship a live
i want to stand up to these girls
say im though with there nonsence
I want to be your friend
but I don't want you to bicker!
They seem to not understand
and go on and on
how can we stop this fighting
I'm falling to pieces to shreds!
One of my friend make ecuses
you did better cause I wasn't there
one just needs to be stable
no need to run awya in dispare.
loving
We try our best
to get back together
lets hope
our friendship
will last
FOREVER
Lindsay - piggypoetry
Author notes
Hey can you give me some tips I'm having some friendship troubles. This started at 3/31/08
A contest entry
- Ages 14 and under: VENT YOUR FEELINGS! by Sky Prince Ireland.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PLEASE! Help me get rid of my points! by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What to you think!?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i am a shade of blue fsnatic...
nicely woven piece.
HESNLEY
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This has a lot of cool associations that relate to the word sad, but I feel it lacks an overall purpose, if that makes sense. It seems like you start out repeating "sad..." and its images (possibly getting over writer's block), then hit on the real message when you talk about your two friends. I believe if you go back and edit into this, this poem could be really awesome--maybe narrow it either to discussing "sad" in a general sense, or cutting to the heart of the matter and expanding on your two friends. The sentiment here is really great, but the portrayal of it could use some revision. This piece has a lot of promise, and I look forward to reading its final version when I judge the contest next week.
--Shannon -
I am sorry you are sad I love you
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Oh! another one by piggypoetry. Can't help but wonder hou you thought up that name, cute. I hope your friends last forever too. Love the format of the last stanza.
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A good vent of your feelings. Lots of luck to you.
Brian
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