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Shards of Flame.

Shards of flame.
Piercing.
Intense.
Looking at me.
Like they could swallow me up.
Purple, black, red.
Anger
burns
behind,
judging eyes.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

  • shortyjo
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yeah i like this better


  • Laura-Critchley
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, a lot.

    The spacing's a little hard to take; but, that's more of a personal preference as opposed to your poetic skill.

    Short and sweet; and considering I'm not normally that big a fan of short poems... this is really good!

    Take care, Laura.

    • shortyjo
      April 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      hmmm yeah I'm not sure about the spacing either. what would you sugest, just mush it all together?

      • Laura-Critchley
        April 1, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Maybe, or have it in two stanzas/verses.

        Maybe the first line of the second stanza as:

        "Purple, black, red."

        But, ultimately it's up to you. =)