The flock of doves that flee across my sky,
Like pearls and gem stones strewn upon the Earth,
Or embers of a fire that will not die,
The mirror of a life that's lost its worth.
A velvet black depression dims my stage.
My tree of life is choked by ivy now.
Like burgundy my love matured with age,
Yet faith in you was turned to pain somehow.
You watched me bleed a pool of crystal tears,
Then ran away and left me to my fears.
Author notes
A word bank and an instruction to produce simple beautiful poetry in ten lines or fewer on a dark theme. So a full sonnet was out and a curtal one has to suffice.
Mirror Velvet Dove(s)
Embers Burgundy Faith
Stones Pain Bleed
Ivy Crystal Pearls
A contest entry
- Let's Do Dark by Dalaney.
900 points, ended April 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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There is beauty in this...dark beauty.
I don't think there is anything you
cannot write about, or make the reader
feel...I thank you for this. Love, lane
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Beautiful rhyming Jeff and the poem was excellent in tastfully done with some very dark things happening...I enjoyed reading this one much...
novy
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This is a gem; most word bank poems seem to have one or two words that are difficult to fit in the theme. You have blended them all without a seam. Awesome work.
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Praise indeed!
I did find two or three words in this impossible for me so decided not to enter, and then the contest was full. I was secretly pleased as I could stop trying, then Lane opened it up again and I had an idea and thought how it would fit but the work was at home, I made it with an entry to spare! It is very different for me but if I have impressed anyone it was worth doing. So thank-you praise from such a thoughtful poet and critic is paise indeed. My aim in my poetry is almost always to get rid of all sorts of awkward edges and I seem to have managed that for you, thank-you
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Should of figured who the contest holder was for you NEVER write like this. Definately hope she enjoys the darker side of you. I would much prefer seeing your love poems spilled over Ap airwaves...but then again who am I to say.
Passions
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Excellent use of the word bank. Effortless rhyme every time...consistantly providing good reads.
Great write.
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No sae bad, Jeff... no sae bad.
(If you try hard enough, you can sing it to the tune of "Champion The Wonder Horse"!
)
It's all good. Nice work.
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Surely you mean Rawhide?
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That's right blow my dark right out of the water!!!
I thought I'd finally got it about right
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Don't worry - I found one of mine you could sing to the theme music of Dixon of Dock Green!
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It is always rather fun to see what the most inappropriate tune you can find is, but somehow it can ruin a good love poem if you find it fits "I was Kaiser Bill's batman" or "Colonel Bogey" The I'm sorry I haven't a Clue teams have been doing it for songs forever of course.
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The best fun I had was when I found that the medieval German epic "Niebelungenlied" could be sung to "Phil The Fluter's Ball"!
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