..
Slowly, silently, now the moon
dances a jig like some crazy old loon
spins on her tiptoes and swivels her hips
winks at the sunset and merrily skips
over the heavens and gently glides
in soft sweeping motions entices the tides
Who take up the rhythm and follow her lead
trapped by her beauty they have to concede
that she has the power to move them that way
not once in a blue moon but twice everyday
They come as she beckons then quickly retreat
ebbing and flowing in time to her beat
Lost in the melody, trapped in the tune
As softly and silently dances the moon
..
To keep this contest anonymous please do not use my name if commenting
Thank you
Author notes
Given first line
"Slowly, silently, now the moon "
A contest entry
- Second Index of First Lines by Keith.
525 points, ended April 12, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Another excellent piece
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This is really nice. I love it. It flows nicely and is written well. Nice work
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This is lovely!!! I really like the way you wrote this!!! All your words flow nicely together!!! This is really awesome!!! I especially love the part about the moon spinning on her tiptoes and swiveling her hips!!! Beautiful job!!! LOVE IT!!
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Wow
I might not look at that cold hearted orb in the same way again. Very lovely.
And thankyou for your comment on "Grasshoppers". Maybe "There's a locust in my soup".
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This is a fascinating write..the words pour forth like moonglow on water, and the rhythm is as gentle as the tides. Loved it!
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wow!
This piece has such a rhythmn to it!
I can't help but love what you've done with the moon! I don't think I've ever seen her move quite like that, and yet its so natural.
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Such beuatiful image you have drawn with your words and it felt smooth and clam just reading it..wonderfully penned. Congrats on the trophy!
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wow this is a very well written poem some words i never think of are in this poem that would work well with my poems...this is amazing and i cant wait to read more adam
img src='/s/images/smile/wink.gif'>
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Oh.....Legend you know how much I love poems about the moon, this is so light and breezy with such beautiful imagery...had a merry little tune going on in my head while reading. Simply gorgeous! Well done and congrats on the trophy.
Shaz xx
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I like this one a lot, thanks for writing it. I'm not a fan of sonnets particularly, and even less of shakspearean sonnets but i like the way you portray the world in this one, with such a light tone and perfect flow. You're enjamonts are great, i think they add a really strong element to it.
thanks for the read.
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting I really do appreciate it As for sonnets Shakespearean or otherwise (never read a word of Shakespeare) i had no idea that was what this was so you surprise me.I know nothing what so ever about poetry forms i just write what feels right
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Congrats on the silver!
This was a pure delight to read! The flow was flawless and the rhyme stunning. An awesome write, worthy of the silver.
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I am so glad you share your poetry with us. This is lovely, full of soft humor, and makes my heart well with a smile. We find so much magic in moondance and reflect mystically, romantically, and in wonder. You catch all of that here in beautiful rhyme and rhythms.
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I see why this poem won a trophy. It's wonderful! We have all read hunderds of poems about the moon but few flow with the grace and imagery of this one.
Love,
Amera
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I love this one.
Really great rhyme and meter. An enjoyable read.
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Wonderful has been used rather a lot in praise of this masterpiece, but what else can I say? Truly wonderful.
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Congratulations on Silver.I have some lovely new red shoes.Shall we join the moon in dance.a lovely poem.Well done, Ros
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Fantastic, that's all I have to say.
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I am so pleased to see a shiny trophy on this wonderful poem. Truly beautiful. Well done as expected my poetic friend. ~Pamela
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i love this
your flow is perfect
i like this poem just like you wrote it no parts better than another
your pic was great too
you deserved that trophy
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This is a great personification of the moon, and good fun to read. Congratulations for the silver and a fine poem.
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So so glad to see this take a trophy as it is deserving in every way
Ruth -
There is something magical about moon beams, and this captures it well. I wont let the moon shine on me through the bedroom window, i move, dont ask me why
The flow of this is just heavenly....
galfalfa
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Wonderful
A wonderful flow and a very pleasing melody to the happy mood that this poem invokes. I loved the pleasant feelings that I got from this poem and the gentle philosophical way it made simple facts into profound statements . the sign of a great pot.
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I love the flow of this poem.A true reflection of the moon and her magical powers.Dangerously alluring as she leads us in the dance.A great entry.I do hope you do well,Ros
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Wonderfully written
Excellent as "nearly" always my friend.
Jim
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wonderfully rendered! A joy to read... I especially liked "not once in a blue moon but twice everyday"
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Absolutely love this. Perfect meter and rhyme and great use of personification too
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A gorgeous poem about the beauty of the moon. Simply stunning. Well done with this.
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http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/6307-Walter-de-la-Mare-Silver
'Silver' is the poem referred to by in a pevious comment and there are definite, beautiful comparisons . The black background adds to the impact of your poem, It really is lovely.
~Von~
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OUTSTANDING!
Great write! this is my new song! I love it! looks like a gold trophy to me!
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what a wonderful sing song ryhme of poetry of the moon
a joy to read, you have taken the starting lines of
" Slowly, silently, now the moon and given it a glowing life,
Warm thoughts.
Frozentearz -
Mindblowing.....
this i would call a poem of class.. and its sooo much intriguing.. i could lose myself in the lines.. this subject n style is my kind of fantasy feasts and i keep reading them again and again.. sooooooo damn lovely!!! Rhyme is great as usual and the flow.. needless to say, just flows...
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Your rhyme is masterful and always well worth the read! Enchanting and like the moon it draws you in! Always a pleasure!
Frogz~
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This is very good, and very lunar indeed. And it has echoes of the original about it:
Silver
Slowly, silently, now the moon
Walks the night in her silver shoon;
This way, and that, she peers, and sees
Silver fruit upon silver trees;
One by one the casements catch
Her beams beneath the silvery thatch;
Couched in his kennel, like a log,
With paws of silver sleeps the dog;
From their shadowy coat the white breasts peep
Of doves in a silver-feathered sleep;
A harvest mouse goes scampering by,
With silver claws, and silver eye;
And moveless fish in the water gleam,
By silver reeds in a silver stream.
- Walter de la Mare
Thanks for entering. -
Enchanting
Your words give the moon a personality all of her own and written with a lilt you can almost sing to.
All the best in the contest...Sue
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This is beautiful and you give the moon a personality of her own.....So lovely is the tune she plays
I love this...
Lynda
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Enchanting
I really like "dances a jig like some crazy old loon
spins on her tiptoes and swivels her hips" I can see the moon doing just that...I shake a tambourine in high favor
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