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Out, One Storm to Another

I need to escape, get away from all this fighting,
There is rain on my window, boom of thunder, crack of lightning,
You're here now, I see your car, your usual place,
My parents are still yelling, they think me a disgrace,
I could get out any time, but I'd rather make you wait,
I can't help but sit here thinking you caused all this hate,
I thought that they loved me, I thought they'd understand,
And I can't help wishing that you'd take me by the hand,
Even through my door I still hear every sound,
And even out my window the rain is coming down,
So in the dark I sneak off, away into the night,
How can something be so wrong and allways feel so right?

So let the wind and water wash away my pain,

I am free when I'm with you, dancing in the rain.

Author notes

I read the rules and you have no idea how hard it was to not write erotica. Or curse.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Momma Majeski
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    They do have a point, that rhyme is a bit forced, and your rhythm is off horribly...
    I have read this poem before and the story and meaning of it is a really good piece of art, all we need to work on now... is my OCD of things <3


  • aeolia
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme's kind of forced and predictable, as someone else mentioned, and the font's hard to read against the background, but it was a nice story. Good luck in the contest, too!

    -Cristina


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    March 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think that the rhyme feels forced. Thats my only problem with this.

    The rest of the poem I liked. I'm not Gay, but I have friends who are and they've been through a lot.
    Many of my friends have been disowned. I have a hard time with that.

    Great write.

    *A Poetic Dreamer*


  • MrsJones
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I loved it. I'm glad you challenged yourself and fought the urge not to write erotica and curse. It was great and it expressed so much pain that a lot of the gay community go through coming out. Thank you for entering!