You’re my drug
The one that keeps me going when I’m down
The one that keeps me high when I fly
Yes you’re my drug
Others are cheaper from the local thug
But when it’s your hug
I know that I’m in my girls grasps
With my next fix in what she will say
Because it’s her way that keeps me going
It’s the way I get though my day
My addiction is where I spend my way
But the effects are worth it just to hear what she’s going to say
She’s my addiction, yes my addiction
She keeps me high, as high as the sky
And I love her, yes I love her
I think I’m addicted but I don’t care
Because I love her
Author notes
hey i haven't really entered a contest before except for one so im still getting use to them... i hope this goes with the guide lines... my rhyming isn't that great though sorry but i hope it will get me though... thanks heaps
oh and also i think this may be number 4 i dont really know i really hope im in the right place for this lol thanks heeps
"I whisper secrets just for you to hear"
A contest entry
- Options, Options, Options; by Whispered Secrets.
375 points, ended May 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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gorgeous
I love this poem, so so much. I agree with all the other comments; you should totally turn this into the song. You said your rhyming was a little off but I think that just adds to the effect of a poem and makes it more song like, which is awesome. the story behind it and your use of metaphore is awesome too. Probably one of my favourite poems actually, I love it.
The girl you wrote it for is very lucky -
thats really pretty, your words speak a story and it sounds just like a song if you read it just right ^^ this is really nice and i love how your saying your addicted to her, it speaks out loud to me.
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I actually commented a poem a minute ago saying that the rhyming sounded a bit juvenile;' but this poem really made it work. Good job. I like how you said it didn't matter if you're addicted; that's what most addicted people say. Once again; good job.
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Hey leigh! didnt know you had this! wow, this is one of those peices that you automatically put to music when you read it - a hard talent to master!
I like it.
Keep up the great work
Much love,
Kas
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hey, i realy like this, i think it could be made into a very cool song! although there are a few things i kinda thought needed fixing just for the flow of it, i dont wanna be harsh, and its just a suggestion so feel free to ignore me, but...
Because it’s her way that keeps me going
It’s the way I get though my day
My addiction is where I spend my way
with this bit, i just thought it might be better with;
because its her that keeps me going
its how i get through the day
my addiction is where i spend my way
i just thought that or something so you didnt have as much repition of the same rhyme...but thats just me...and it doesnt make it sound bad or anything, i think this is a fantastic poem...good luck in the contest, i hope you win!
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awesome thats exactly what i was looking for thanks heaps... i hope you don't mind if i edit it like that yeah? thanks... and its not to harsh i really don't mind if any one tells me anything that i could improve on so thanks heaps!!!
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I hate and stink at rhyming so...I really don't care. Great job and good, strong feeling. Good luck in the contest!
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Good write. Poetry doesnt always have to rhyme. Its the feeling and the thought in it that counts the most, if it rhymes it doesnt necessarily make it better. Good job and good luck in the contest.
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