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conversation with cloud #1

 
 
 
 
 
little cloud,
how alike we are,
softly lit, unfolded
by the light of others,

 

undone by tears.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

Okay - this was bugging me all week, so edited and I think it flows better and even makes more sense now

"little" is the only adjective. "softly" is an adverb (for those confuzzled by all the ad ad ad stuff)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, like Guy has said, the final line wraps this up so well and i liked the linkage between cloud and tears.

    I was wondering about "softly"... isn't that an adjective too as it describes the cloud (noun). LOLOL, would have to check that, Kate. Am I stingy or what, lol!!

    I liked this - thank you for your entry.

    ~ Nicolette


    • EvilKate
      April 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      'softly' is an adverb, since it precedes 'lit' - the verb - or, I think that's correct

  • grm
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i might've left out the 'the' before unique, but the final line really wraps this all together with an undeniable poignancy

    nice done

    thanks for entering


  • misselaineous
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this
    muchly
    as i struggle with knowing me adjectives form me nouns and me verbs i dont have an efffing clue lol1

    but i do likey the poemy

    elaine

  • Suzanne Dia
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I would remove 'the' from the third line, I keep tripping over it. (though, as you well know, I am clumsy )

    Love this, though.

    Can I talk to the cloud too?



    • EvilKate
      March 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      that 'the' is required, to make 'unique' a noun - am only allowed one adjective because the Nicolette/Grm amalgam are stingy (or too busy doting)

      • grm
        March 31, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        hey

        • EvilKate
          March 31, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Well hey back at you! - I'm an adjective kind of girl, so you wound me with your arbitrary rules.

          *ahem* But I had best be away now - I was headed to sleep several hours ago (and did try) - but woke up and, naturally, had to stop here before resuming a vacant posture.


  • NurseChilly gold member
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nice Kate... very nice

    is "little cloud" a name?? anyways// maybe Namita is right. but whatever

    i like the uniqueness here



    Gilly.x


  • Namita
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ummm... isn't little an adjective here?

    lovely, anyway. love the tears part.


    • EvilKate
      March 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah - I got confused in my notes - editing them now.

1 - 12 of 12