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echoes

By the chasm made from fallen dreams,
the riverbed of the dead stream
laments the life that once it held,
and tolling of the far off bell

Deep beneath the rolling waves,
in hallowed fields and far off caves
The echoes of what we have seen,
and everything we've ever been
Vanish in the dark of night
Now nothings wrong, and nothings right
The vestiges of what we've done
'clipsed by the moon, no more the sun

So now the void is all that's here,
where no one screams, and no one hears
And blissfully we drift on by,
'cause no one loves and no one cries...

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments


  • Fallen-Thumper
    November 9

    Edit | Reply

    thank you for entering

    i really like this piece and it is brilliant., A really great write, excellent and good luck, thanks for entering! Amazing flow =]
    -penguin-


  • Vintage Chiffon
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent rhyme and a wonderful flow to your words
    I appreciate your entry in my contest
    and the best of luck to you
    -Vintage


  • Mirrors shard
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was so intricately written. wow. im kinda speechless. the way you used words to create this poem and the image are breathtaking- this is incredible.
    these are a few of my favorite lines:

    By the chasm made from fallen dreams...

    Now nothings wrong, and nothings right
    The vestiges of what we've done
    'clipsed by the moon, no more the sun...

    And blissfully we drift on by,
    'cause no one loves and no one cries...

    WOW. well penned!


  • Chocoholic156
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well this is surely an interesting read, my favorite part was:
    "Deep beneath the rolling waves,
    in hallowed fields and far off caves"
    I love the rhythm that you present and hold through the entire thing. It is very well done. Good job.