[[Look over there]]
The darkness of my misery
So opaque and obscure
Only the glint still manifest
That mesmerizing glint of steel
[[Go to it, it’s calling]]
A whispered idea inside my head
Ricocheting within my subconscious
A breathtaking plan to end my suffering
A wicked smile of anticipation
[[It will make everything better]]
Reminiscing times of happiness
Overcome with harsh reality
A life that’s not worth living
A desperate search for comfort
[[Pick it up, it won’t bite…]]
My fingers slide tenderly across
Reveling in the tarnishing stream of blood
Gripping the handle, grasping it tightly
Raising the enticing blade to my exposed throat
[[You know what to do]]
Cold steel against fading flesh
Body joining spirit in death
The reverberations of my torn heart
Lifeless since its love was rejected
It will finally be over.
Then…
{{NO!}}
The clanging of the demon’s fang
Crashing against the concrete floor
Landing beside it, the violent ambush
Of the hammering echoes of shouting voices
{{What are you doing??}}
Overwhelming guilt
Groveling in shame
Was my despair so blinding
That I couldn’t see?
{{We’re still here. WE can’t lose YOU}}
The barren gap where that idea had vanished
Filled with the rich warmth of loved ones
The cloudiness those thoughts had created
Replaced with the clear sight of friendship
{{Please don’t do that again…}}
Silent promises, sincere forgiveness
True smiles and selfless tears
One love lost, many friendships remain
And a life that’s worth living
For them.
A contest entry
- Therapy by Dienush.
600 points, ended April 6, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Suicide?
This might my favorite of your poems. The presentation of the ideology that suicide is worth it, then contrasting it to make it so it seems so stupid was very clever. I like how you said " Ricocheting within my subconscious
A breathtaking plan to end my suffering
A wicked smile of anticipation"
I loved it.
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I really liked this one. It really portrayed well, I think, the thoughts that go through your head when contemplating suicide, and cutting. I also thought that your little stylistic twist of having the stanzas leaning one direction as the speaker's thoughts lean towards suicide, then away as they are persuaded against it was clever. The last line, though, really added to the poem as a whole, though.
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Nice twist here, I like how you turn it from dark to a compromise of hope. Thanks for taking up the challenge.
~Diana
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wow talking about wicked lmao. he how do you make your poems red?
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cutting sucks
good poem.
nice er personifivcation of the bladde.
[i think tis what ur writing bout?]
beautiful lovely.
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