You once asked me,
"What do you miss, when I am gone?"
and I had no reply.
The silence,
the humming nothingness in the air
Caught us both by surprise.
I assure you, though,
The reasoning was not what it seemed.
As you watched me get flustered,
Not saying one word,
I wondered,
What one shall I say first?
As you began to glare at me,
Not saying one word,
I wondered,
There's too much,
To say just one.
The blankness upon my face,
Was not what it had seemed!
When I think of you, when you are gone,
I don't miss one thing about you.
Yes, it is true.
When you are gone,
I miss all and everything about you!
When your side of the bed is cold,
I shiver in your absence.
When the night is old and tired,
I hopefully listen for your approach.
When I am humming all alone,
It is you I am singing to.
The reflection, in my blank stare
Was the fighting of my own thoughts,
Whirling and tangling together,
Battling for the verbal shout.
What I tried to tell you...
Was I miss and think of ALL of you,
When you are gone.
Author notes
*Straight from my heart. I think I could've gone on forever w/this one, but...i stopped
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Prompt:
by Leopold Sédar Senghor
Love And the Sun, Lines 12-17
I think of you when I am walking or swimming,
Sitting or standing, I think of you morning and night,
When I cry in the evening, and Oh yes, when I laugh
When I speak to myself and when I remain silent
in my joy and pain. When I think and do not think,
My dear, I'm always thinking of you!
A contest entry
- ... Femme Noir...Leopold Senghor by Peteskid.
1000 points, ended April 12, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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beautiful, love can do that. when you miss them so much it can take forever to express
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I love this write. I can completely relate to it. When I'm away from my boyfriend I miss everything about him. Even the way he drives me crazy sometimes with his annoying habits. I miss it all. Great write. Straight from the heart.
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LOL. Nothing is more accurate. This type of write is up my alley. Wonderfully, done. Write on and good luck. One.
Dez -
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thanks for you compliments and for the HM!!
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"the humming nothingness in the air
Caught us both by surprise."
What a wonderful sensory line. I hold a workshop with teens where we must listen to the "silence". I can hear it, faintly but just the same, and yes, it is surprising. Excellent!
You were truly moved by the original poem. I can feel that in your words. This is how I feel about those I care for, "when they are gone". Great work!
I wish you the best in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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when given a prompt in a foreign writers hand many forget that there are meanings in the ordinary language of the reader, common events of life and yet extraordinary expression of feelings and deeper thoughts, such is the case here; wonderful open words full of heartfelt sincerity; observations of the everyday brought to spiritual meanings. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and the best of luck in the judging...PK
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thanks for you compliments and for the HM!!
PK, the contest was great!!! thanks for bringing to light, this great poet!!!
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