Rise
The call of ethereal light
Gave birth to sun
A gap between night and day
A space devoured
Filling with the essence
Of the burning heart
Summon back the lost liberation
Lift in fire the sacrificial truth
A breath embodying the flame of life
Risen
A new world
Bathed in the afterglow
Of a thousand burning candles
A sun lit destiny
Time stopped
And universe discovered
Fire raven of the forgiven night
Bringer of forgotten loyalties
Lighter of extinguished love
The essence of existence
The soul of truth
Falling
Night claims the day
Day conquers night
Twin hearts beating
Web of time and truth
Life and love
Upwards rising
Alive
Living
A contest entry
- fire by sacrifice by jezz.
1050 points, ended April 14, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comment! lol
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You know i change my mind, that was even better than when I read it before, I absorbed alot more on my last read. Fantastic.
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very well done, strong vivid, and each sentence retained a powerful message, without being merely a filler. Every line seemed well thought out. Precise and greatly filled with emotion and character. I could say the only problem was it being too strong...but that doesn't make any sence. Great job overall. Your title worked well with your piece, and the flow was fantastic. Keep up the great writing!
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It happens every day yet it's miraculous. This piece has an almost native quality; some of the word usuages feel like that.
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wow...
im amazed that i didnt lose my focus while i read this poem (thats a good thing)... my sister was screaming and my mom was telling me to do stuff...all i was thinking about was this poem... wow...awesome... -
interesting. a very strong beginning. I am very fond of the line "A sun lit destiny"
nice imagery throughout.
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Perceptive.
A very perceptive and deeply written poem that engenders a pleasant harmony of thought by the words you have chosen.
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Great form poem
You seem to understand 'fire' and light. It should do well here. I like risk takers.
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i agree with the comments below, this is a wonderfully written poem. i struggled with the flow, due to no punctuation. i know poetry does not need punctuation, but it can make the world of meaning if done right. thank you taking the time to enter these wonderful words in my competition
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You have penned a wonderful poem and the imagery you have within your word is wonderful. A pleasure to read this morning. You take care, Sandy
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hey babe! this is amazing! omfks i love this so much!
Bathed in the afterglow
Of a thousand burning candles
Fire raven of the forgiven night
Bringer of forgotten loyalties
those lines are astonishing and amazingly simplisticly exquisite! i love it so much! you are such an amazing poet! this poem really painted pictures in my head, it feels like something revered, something sacred. its a gorgeous poem, and a gorgeous feeling you make the reader feel. wonderful job!
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