Seven years of broken mirrors
velvet promise drops the dove,
Faith heals the bleeding embers
flying ash that once was love.
Pain splinters crystal beauty,
burgundy hues of loves regret,
Pearls of wisdom strangle wishes
casting stones that don’t forget.
Inspired to be conflicted I see in ivy eyes
truth that I predicted revealed despite your lies.
Author notes
Wow was it hard to keep that at 10 lines! ....Contest WORDBANK:
Mirror Velvet Dove
Embers Burgundy Faith
Stones Pain Bleed
Ivy Crystal Pearls
A contest entry
- Let's Do Dark by Dalaney.
900 points, ended April 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHORT POEMS PART 3 by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 5, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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great piece ,liked it a lot and only 10 lines.
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You have done well in ten lines. Supeb rhyme again. Amazing flow to the piece too. You have written very creatively in this. Good luck in the contest my friend.
Darkness
Reigns
Wayne Leon
x
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the devil made them do it
How did they miss this, where did it come from
Should have bin a winner, Where I beat my drum.
So were a at stand off, a different point of view
think I'll talk to kevin, and make them trophy you....
the girls will be sad, Dalaney Grace will chew
something quite unpleasent, that smells alot like pooh!
Rudolf
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Just another wonderful work of poetry Jamie. Your feelings come rightout in this. I admire your effort! GOOD ONE!!
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Yes, it is sometimes tough to limit lines in poetry. One is on a roll and could write nearly an epic and they want just ten lines, LOL Liked what you did with these ten lines though. Well done.
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Written very well
To use a word bank & then keeping it to 10 lines is hard. But you did a maaaaaahvelous job. Loved the read as the flow was effortless and easy to follow. Great job!
~Ron~
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Amazing! so many constricting factors when writing your poem but it turned out magnificently! As for the subject I could totally relate to it as I have been through the same situation recently myself. full of emotions beautifully described. Great write!
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ZOMG. You fit all of those words in a 10 line rhyming poem. AND it had great flow and real depth. You really nailed this piece. It is absolutely stunning!
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You nailed it
Not only using the word bank, but rhyming too. Cute trick using internal rhyme in the last 2 lines to get it to 10. You have done well, Grasshopper.
... and made me weep as well.
Buddy
I was going to enter, but I couldn't get anything coherent.
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Lovely rhyme scheme and message.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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This is good. the meaning and emotion is defintily there and quite clear. The one thing I have a problem with is that it appears to have no form, one stanza is one length and the other stanza is another length. This may just be my personal opinion, but it might not just be me either.
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omg...i just realized you wrote this for my contest!lol You have done what I couldn't even do!
Perfect entry. Love, Lane
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Lovely =3
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wow. this rhymes and flows soo wonderfully well!! i really loved it!. i really like the style of writing you penned with. this is just sooo amazing
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Actually, that was about the best use of a wordbank that I have ever seen.
It's tough to be so constrained yet pull out such poetic thoughts...
and a hell of a lot better than I have ever done
Very impressive
Roses
Raker
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Oh my goodness! This was amazing, you used the words and phrases perfectly in this poem. Its beautiful, and in my opinion, gold material. good luck in the contest, and thank you for your comment!!
-B
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groovy!..
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This is rhyme. I see so much of it that I feel is so forced. I love it when it flows such as this. I agree it was hard to keep it under ten lines...lol. I almost gave up. Best wishes. Oh by the way I love your motto on your profile page. So true.
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Excellent. great use of the words. you worked it well.
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That's awesome! Yeahh. I love the last line.
!!
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You have created the most wonderful pieces of work lately girl! I absolutely love coming back and reading more, and best of all being able to relate to someone at such a deep level. Thank you for sharing this.. It was deep and powerful!
Best of Luck on the Contest!
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I loved the rhyme and flow of this piece. This was an honest and powerful piece of writing. You have done well here. Keep writing.
Love
Wayne Leon
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WOW!
For being sad sounding this is very beautiful! I 'specially like the lines: 'Pearls of wisdom strangle wishes casting stones that don't forget". Jeez... your some wicked talented
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