If I reached out my hand
and he reached out his
fate would lock them together
and maybe for once
this sack of problems
would be light as a feather
the stars would shine brighter
than the sparkle in our eyes
and you could see tonight
how two hearts combined can fly.
cause there something new
floating around
we say so much
wihout making a sound
dear boy
im reaching out my hand
reach out yours
lock them together
and we'll find the lovesick cure.
cause tonight the stars are shining
and so could we
with fingers intwined
we could finally be free
cause I'll be devoted
if you'll stay by my side
life's a rollar coaster
and it's our turn to ride.
Author notes
[:
A contest entry
- Exercise your Want by ErrantHeart.
900 points, ended April 15, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So?
Comments
-
Please fix this line...
"cause there something new"
and this...
"wihout making a sound"
and this...
"im reaching out my hand"
Also, when using "cause" in place of because you need this little fellow in front of it... 'cause.
This is a gentle want. And I do like and enjoy. I think 'cause is overused a little.
But all in all a sweet write.
-
This is a beautiful write. I enjoyed the read very much sol. Is this line correct..
"cause tonight the stars are shing"
Good luck.
Kelli
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