I.
Stem lost,
the bloom wilts
into shriveled hopes and self hatred.
I cry fallen petals
into the abyss
as bilge reaches out
to lap me up,
into its sea-dark depths.
Anger sank into my heart
and tiny minnows grew
into a whale that is eating me
little by little.
I am the well
where there is no light.
Alone with myself.
Unworthy of life.
I feebly claw at the wall
but know that I will never live life.
I see that if I could reach out
the edge of reason would come near,
but I am frozen
in my mind
and can't go any closer.
Depression is a parasite,
the vortex that imprisons,
and I am swirling and falling
into the depths
faster and deeper.
II.
Lift the ravaged blossom
to waiting lips
for the kiss from His lips
to engage the flower's "beingness."
Catch the bilge before it drips.
Eat the whale that threatens my life.
Converse with Him instead of
with myself.
Find another hand
to help lift me up
the steepening walls that are too tall.
Break the bricks that build that well.
Wipe the veil from your eyes
and remember when there were no tears.
I must stop the free-fall and
fly out of hell with reason's wings.
Think of myself as the lock and key.
The only way out is to believe in God and in me.
Author notes
I like the first one more. The second one is all great in theory, but not so easy for depressed people in reality.
A contest entry
- Therapy by Dienush.
600 points, ended April 6, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
i will say too the first section held the power here, great emotion displayed, the depths forever deep, whereas the second seemed, i don't know, too cheery, for want of a better word. darker imagery suits most people i think, i did an experiment ages ago with art to test this and the dark art was far more popular than the light - a good poem
-
-
I actually have a much easier time writing the darker things. That's probably because in my past I spent plenty of time there! Thanks for the lovely comment.
-
-
I agree with your author's notes - I like the first one better in style and the second one better in meaning, but they are both good in my opinion. I like how you've kept up the flower and fountain motifs, that makes them sound as one whole made up by two pieces. The parts about the whale are very powerful, perhaps due to how creative this metaphor is. I also really enjoyed the flow and strength of emotion, especially in
"I am the well
where there is no light.
Alone with myself.
Unworthy of life."
&
"Break the bricks that build that well."
Beautifully done. Thank you for accepting this challenge. I do hope writing these has helped you.
~Diana
Adding your comment:
