I'm disgusted by you
There is no trust
No fire in this relationship
I tell you time and time again
How vital honesty is to me
I need you to just understand
ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This has to be over!
I'm not going to take this anymore
Fuck you for your constant disrespect!
Anything you say, artificial reality
Kismet urges your dismissal
Ending our comeraderie for good
You don't deserve an apology
Because you're nothingness
I don't even care anymore
Just leave me alone
What happened to you?
Author notes
Prompt was an acrostic of 'fake'...find it, poets<33
A contest entry
- Time for a detailed contest....no quickie here. All options, prompts and honest muse. by isisspirit.
540 points, ended April 12, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
first opinions? be honest
Comments
-
wow
hey this is very good. i think if u just keep doing what ur doing and put this much love in to everything in ur life, like this poem u will FLY!!!!!
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This is a heavy poem, I wouldn't like to be the one it was aimed at
I did find your acrostic, well placed. I like this alot, you get across what you want to say and you do it with flow and just enough fancy vocab to really make it artitic as well as matter of fact. The one thing I noticed was that the more complicated vocab wasn't spread out, in that it goes from plain wording "add chunk of metaphor" Back to simplistic phrasing again. This isn't a problem, just something to think about. My only other critisizm would be that a couple of well placed comma's wouldn't go astray. Don't get me wrong, I actually really like this. Don't take my suggestions to mean dislike. There is passion here, and you address an issue that many people can relate to. Your stanzas are well broken and the flow is unniterupted. Thankyou kindly for your entry.
Best of luck
-Bec
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