In the hallow darkness I picked a corner
Shedding my tears over and over
No one could feel what I hid in my heart
From pain and secrets that I can't bring out
Should I repeat that I AM a human?
That deserves to sigh and to be forgiven
But I'm always blamed for the simplest mistake
Yet I agree, I take the blame
Don't you know that inside I'm a child
That needs to cry from time to time
That I try to dry my tears to survive
But surely someday all patience will die
Though I'm a victim of the world's misdeeds
I'll take control of my precious tears
Though home is not my home anymore
I'll build the perfect home on my own
I know I'm not perfect, I'll never be
But I also know that I am real
I don't pretend, I don't deceive
I'll seek the relief and I'll just be me!
Author notes
option number 2
A contest entry
- Cryptic Tongues by Violent Serenity.
1200 points, ended April 19, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[[Give Me A Broken Rhyme ]]] by hopelessly-broken.
550 points, ended May 20, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I am not hugely impressed and line #6/word #1 should be "who" not "that" and also the final exclamation mark seems totally inappropriate.
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Looks like a win. Only thing I suggest is messing with the way the words are seen. You can inflect some more meaning that way.
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Very well done, this poem explains my home and family life and I think it is great u managed 2 put it into words, very very great writting, thankyou for sharing this with me
I look farward 2 readin more of ur work
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ive felt this way before...
ive felt this way before...
i like the 1st stanza the most
the rhymes and the content is good
theres nothing bad about it...
overall, awesome -
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hey!
That's really great to hear
Thank you.
Lubna
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Such a lovely poem, I'm sad to delete this from my contest, but hun you did not put your option in the AM box as I requested.
Great poetry and hope to see you enter again.
All the best in the other contests.
Becks
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OMG, I forgot!!
I hope I can have a second chance
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I think imperfect is the perfect way to be. keep being yourself. great write here, keep it up!
Good luck in the contest ^.^
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Hey! thank you
i'm so glad you like it
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yes it is very good! im impressed ^.^ im going to look at some of your other creations soon, see what else u have talently written lol
keep it up -
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That made me even happier
I hope you enjoy reading them.. though I don't have many
Lubna
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