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Oh Jealous Me

 

 

 

 

I picked his pockets clean,

that is where he kept his nuts;

t'was winter, and times were lean,

had to do it, no ands or ifs or buts.

 

 

We met in the park one day,

he came there daily for his walk;

like clockwork, didn't change his way,

except one day he started to talk.

 

 

to me , I imagine, me-a wee-tiny squirrel,

we were meant to become fast friends;

love or like, t'was like a wind-a whirl,

a man, a squirrel-no other intends.

 

 

but one day there was no sign of him,

and sorrow invaded this squirrel's heart;

I started to worry, thoughts became grim;

up and down the path I started to dart.

 

 

I needn't have worried though, he was merely late,

a rival squirrel had vied for his nuts and affection;

jealous me , a stand off and I chased her out of the gate;

pilfered every nut,now I can't move for I'm suffering indigestion.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

the picture brought a smile, and I hope these words will make you smile as well......Rhyme is NOT my forte, feel free to be critical, just please be courteous.

A contest entry

any critique is very welcome [as long as it is done with courtesy and constructive to my learning. I thank you.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • tricia
    July 1, 2008

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    This is quite an amusing write! Based on where I live, this happens a lot. It's funny to see how squirrels can get so jealous so fast.

    I like the flow of the poem; it goes at a constant rate, and it's suitable for the subject. Even the title, first line, and last line go well together. my only question: did the squirrel steal the nuts from the man and the lady squirrel or just one?


    • cherche -d -ame
      July 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you. I imagine he stole them from both first the man and then chased her down as squirrels are known to do
      reenie

  • piccola silver member
    April 2, 2008

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    this reminds me of a very old Mac Davis song...but the song has a sad ending. Even my grown son cries lol. Thanks for the entry it shows great imagination. Thank you for entering.


  • suseann
    March 30, 2008

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    Funny furry tail and tale too!He does look for all the world like he's out of it and doesn't care much either.


  • senza
    March 30, 2008

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    Haha, the indigestion is ingenious... The whole poem is so funny and quick-paced, vivid and fluid... C'est magnifique! A really cute tale... could be for children and adults. I love how you wrote this from the squirrel's view point, you definitely entered his nutty head with a lot of imagination! Et la photo est si mignonne!!!!
    s


  • poeticweaver gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Very Cute Sis,

    I'm not much of a critic, so, having said that.. I love your vocab, and how you weaved this into a fun loving write. Thanks for sharing, it's always a pleasure reading you dear sis. Much love and tenderness. Peace, Brother Timothy


  • JohnnyD gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    And here I thought I was the only one on AP who was nuts? This was really cute and reminded me of college days when I used to walk the parks picking up lovely gals with bushy tails.

    And they all turned out to be such tomboys as they were all excellent tree climbers but really un-nerved me was when we went on dates downtown they would break free of my arm and dart into the street in front of oncoming traffic! I would watch in horror as they would appear to almost get hit and then would just as suddenly dart back to my side chuckling with a smile on their face.

    I would rarely take them out to eat publically as they would simply fill their cheeks with food and then run to the park and hide it, such odd behavior???

    Although every single one of them was quite affectionate and chatty and could find my lost keys within minutes if asked.

    I still keep in touch with one I know, she owns a two bedroom flat in an old oak in central park.
    Nice view from the bedroom but I hate staying there on the weekend when that damn woodpecker starts.

    I have had her go to see a psychologist for two years now, but all he does is shake his head and say she's nuts.

    But ya know, I must admit that I really enjoy spooning up with her when she hibernates as she is one fuzzy little fox.

    (Rennie, your poem was wonderful! I chuckled so hard I coughed nuts out until midnight! )


    Len


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Aww this is too cute hun and very cleverly penned
    I enjoyed this read!
    All the best with this
    gaylene


  • argyra-potameides
    March 30, 2008

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    Too Cute

    This reminds me of our Old Mother Squirrel, she will come to the porch and stare into the house through the sliding glass door if some one forgets to fill the feeder. And NO ONE! is allowed near the feeder Until She Finishes First *chuckles* I liked this read very much thank you for sharing

1 - 9 of 9