I'm forever trying to hold on
This constant struggle
Seeing nothing but the photograph below me
And the rough white wall above
The hole I created (was forced into)
Seems to grow larger by the day
I slip out bit by bit
Not even knowing anymore if I want to fall
To give up on my reason
And perhaps be lost in the dust
Never to be reclaimed
Maybe when I inevitably slip
I will in falling catch a final glimpse
Of the picture that has become my purpose
The one I've never truly seen
And couldn't describe despite the time we've spent together
Except to know she is beautiful
A contest entry
- A New Perspective by aaaaaaaa.
650 points, ended April 13, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Of pencils and of other things.... the contest of inanimate objects. :) Clicky clicky! by squirrelgirl.
800 points, ended April 20, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Instead of a Human... by Rianna Bear.
600 points, ended April 17, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is it feeling? by liduen.
600 points, ended May 18, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a really intesting poem...I love how you really thought through what a thumbtack would feel. Good luck in my contest!!
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last stanza in this cool piece stands out to me the most. i don't think that this tack forgets the image (as said below), i think it was just always too close to be able to appreciate it, thus, when falling, the beauty and the love grows! or, that's how i take it. like that perfect person in your life that was always a friend, and you never see them that way until they get taken by someone else, and you wonder what a gem they were in your life, when it's too late. aww. thanks so much for sharing and for your entry!
*Rianna
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This is great, you ride your imagination well, I think. I particularly like the last stanza, where you mention the potential glimpse, as the only likely opportunity for 'thumb-tack' to see the image of its beautiful mistress.
All the best for the contest, Sol
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Hmm... already commented on this? I wonder who it could be, iamlost.
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Sorry you didn't place.
That's a cool poem,
I love it when you write about inanimate objects.
They always turn out the best.
May your pencil never break!
~squirrel~
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I love this, I never thought about it before and it's a genius idea/thought I think. Exactly what I was looking for in the contest
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The thumbtack sees it when it is first thrust into the picture. And over the years of being so close it starts to love the picture, but slowly forgets the image. And in its looming final fall it longs to catch a glimpse and be reminded of what its love looks like, even for a second before it hits the ground, and is 'lost in the dust'.
Beautiful!
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