Broken down and tortured soul,
left with only thoughts.
Suffocating in memories,
of innocence lost.
These streets have worn her ragged.
Stripped her of her spirit.
Left her just a fractured piece,
of everything she dreamed of.
Listened to those venomous lies,
spewed by those that "loved her".
Struck across that angel face,
by the hands of the devil.
Kneeling with hopes of answered prayers,
from anyone who'll give a damn.
For she had forsaken GOD,
many years ago.
You may see a tortured soul.
You may see a victim.
But no matter what you see,
remember she's still HUMAN
Author notes
This pic just inspired this write from beginning to end. I hope that everyone can remember that regardless of the circumstances that we are all just Human and we all need a little help up sometimes.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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heman
How true-There goes I but for the grace of God--well written--flows well
bw
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Excellent pic for poem or vice versa. They complement each other perfectly.
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We are all tortured souls in some form or other. I love the emotion and sadness within this piece. It is very very strong. Keep writing, this was very good.
All the best
Wayne Leon
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Aaaaaaaaaw Danggggg!!
-sniffle-sniffle-
this tugs hard at the Heartstrings
Powerful piece You have voiced!!
Love the message conveyed...so true...
She is Human~~still learning lessons in Life
Keep Your quill dancing!!
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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oh wow, i love it. it show the raw emotions of pain and hopelessness its really amazing.
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another amazing piece it carries alot within it and it speaks truth and depth. well done auntie and keep writing
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A heart felt reminder
Yes, we are all human and need a hand up. This is not some thing any of us should take for granted. Your take on this picture is awe inspiring and very deep.
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Beautiful and touching.
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The only thing that annoyed me a little was that some words weren't put into the correct form. Like dreamd is dreamt and angel would sound better if it was angelic. But I'm just one of those annoying people who pay attention to things like that.
I really loved this though. I normally don't like vagueness in poetry, but it actually works well in this. The stanzas flow nicely, and none of it sounds forced.
The ending is what really won me over though. It's just a simple way to remind us that we're all in the same boat. It reminds me of this saying that's was something akin to 'You're just being human, but remember, we're all human beings.' -
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The use of dreamd and angel didn't bother me, I took them more in the lines of a broken child turned woman.. it rings more lyrical to me. lol though when I first started reading other people's poetry instead of just my own I got down right picky over everything! Then I realized I was ruining the point.
You're right the stanzas flow very well and it all sounds as natural as the wind.
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the only negative thing I could say about this is that i had to highlite in order to be able to read. But then your message to society is so powerful , that the previous can be overlooked. This picture inspired you well, and I wish more people would take to heart , that no matter what the circumstances that someone might be in [really down on their luck-homeless-drugs-prostitution, etc, etc.....within them beats a heart and there is a soul] that for one reason or another was unable to cope at that moment and got off the right path. A helping hand should always be willingly reached out....and rejection of that should not be taken personal. We as humans are so judgemental as well as hypocritical....for which one of us can claim to never have done something wrong [or at least come close to doing so]There is a lot of pain and sorrow in this world , and some are just not equipped to handle it all. All we can hope for is that eventually they will find their way back. I personally know a few people that some years ago seemed doomed ......now they are upstanding citizens and teach others not to follow into their footsteps [so out of their own experiences comes something good]. A very powerful write and kudoos to you for speaking up for the socalled "underdog"
respectfully,
reenie
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Bravo bravo.... Oh my.. To try and find words for this piece is alomt impossible..
This was just so amazing..
Yes we are all human and sometimes we
Froget that..
You did very well to bring the picture to life with your wonderful words..
Just so beautiful..
Great write..
Peace to you, jetleena
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AMAZING
thats all i can say really
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HOLY HANNAH!!!!! You just blew my mind with this!!! I think that this is the most stunning write from you yet and truly one of the most profound pieces I have read from anyone on here to date!!!! This was just incredible and I agree with Cin there! This needs to be in a contest or at the very least featured!! You wrote words of infinite wisdom here and they need to be strung across these pages as a reminder to all!!! Very well done Marcy!!!! Very well done indeed!!!!
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Thats a great pic....I saw it and already it was inspiring me lol
But then your words darl inspired me a lot
Such strong emotion in this..Deep words
God yes, we are only human and we do all need help sometimes...what a great message......
I shed a tear by the last stanza lol, just cause it got me so much...becuase I am one who has truly had to come to terms with the fact that I'm only human and I need help soemtimes ( with my mental illness, etc )
So that really really hit home, struck a chord...but made me smile too
This needs to be in a contest, it's so worthy of more then gold to me...
So I reckon find a pre-write one and get it in
So many others need to read such an important msg
I might even feature it for you I think
Cin
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