Inside

Holding it inside,
Thats all I've ever known,
Put yourself down,
It's all I've ever learned to do,
"You'd be a very pretty girl if"
Everything swirls around in my head,
One minor thing wrong and its a mental attack,
I can't control it anymore,

I want to be able to look in the mirror,
And like the girl I see,
Not resent her,
I want to see the beauty,
Not continue to hate her,

The person I see,
Might not be nowhere near "me"
The lies polluted my mind,
Clouded my vision,
Creating dilusions in my mind,

I just want to leave it behind,
How?
How can you change your mind,
Go from hating yourself,
To, learning to love yourself,
And maybe let someone in,
I've made some progress,
Dan's inside,
And things I say to him ,
Make me wonder where did the girl I am go,
Who is telling him these things,
Admiting,
What I am,
...

It's scaring me,
I'm admiting things,
I want to admit the "Big one"
No mstter how hard,
None of me is hidden to him,
And I wouldnt have it any other way,
I need to be seen,
Before hiding myself kills me

.. .