Amazing gaze! Steely blue inquisitors
staring anxiously pressing for response
demanding a conversion to newfound passion,
the dilation of your fixed stare
is torturing a confession out of me
I lose God!
for your eyes - such a divine eminence -
preach such a profound sermon:
Your heart was sacrificed
to forgive me
of all my sins...
within your deep set stare
hints a maddening fervor,
to set my guilt upon the rack
stretch me long until I snap!
Professing our love as an Apocrypha
I finally relent and scream...
I believe!
Author notes
She really does look right into my soul when she stares at me that way...
Apocrypha: (from the Greek word ἀπόκρυφα, meaning "those having been hidden away" are texts of uncertain authenticity or writings where the authorship is questioned. The word "apocrypha" acquired a negative connotation, and it has become a synonym for "spurious" or "false". This usage usually involves fictitious or legendary accounts that are plausible enough to commonly be considered as truth.
In a list
A contest entry
- Astonish Me! by Touchof1der.
525 points, ended March 31, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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SENSATIONAL!!!!
"I lose God!
for your eyes - such a divine eminence - "
I totally just got the chills. Great job here and congrats on the shiney.
Delila
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"...Steely blue inquisitors..."
You capture the readers
held them tight in the gaze.
An amazing staement of belief!
Aesthete
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This was a really really impressive write.. I liked the flow of your words and the emotion in it as well..
Very well done..
Peace to you, Jetleena
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awesome write
first of all congrats on the bronze
i thought the flow was just dazzling and the idea super
nice job i really liked this write
keep up the great work and thank you for sharing
. Rewarded 4
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Reading this from a Christian perspective, it was a beautiful expression of faith, although I can relate to it on a relational level too... Very well written...
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This poem touches my soul
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From the very first line my soul was transported into an aura of intrigue. Each that followed just drew me in deeper. Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet. Good luck in the contest!
♥ Touchof1der -
for me this was a cross between the eyes of God and the eyes of that certain someone who can get you to confess the truth.
i especially liked these lines...
'to set my guilt upon the rack
stretch me long until I snap'
it was cool to see a fun little rhyme in there
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Wow. I must say this is very different (for you ), but certainly 'astonishing' for this reader - both poetically and emotionally.. gripping.
Very well composed piece of thoughtful wanderings. An intensity of revelations, confessions, and dreams. There is much emotion woven throughout these well proclaimed lines; pleading heart strings to be ~moved~, in some way or another.
"Your heart was sacrificed
to forgive me
of all my sins..."
Now that, that is powerful. Amazing poem.
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Thank you. Different? My unreasonable fear of being predictable is still, as yet, unfounded *smile*.
until exhale,
Grimoire
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peel back my soul and call me neck~
i like~ -
I wish I could write like this. Laney
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Amazing.
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Wonderfully written with images that draw a picture of a man in love with a strong woman. Well done!
Ken
P.S. My wife does the same thing. It's all an act (LOL) but one that still affects me.
. Rewarded 4
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