traces of neon
sever sky with
blood red
blades of glass
and shimmering shadows
translucent lie
while onlookers immune
and unaffected
expunge their eyes in
cooler shades of blue
A contest entry
- Astonish Me! by Touchof1der.
525 points, ended March 31, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
only an artist...
could paint such an image with words...
the reader becomes your willing canvas Tim...and your brush always leaves me wanting more...of you...
this is so well done I am astonished it isn't wearing gold tin...
damn you are good...
Blessings! Tammy
xoxox

-
The images within this piece are nothing short of amazing. Your words choice is creative and truly makes a hard hitting impact with vivid imagery. You really do know how to stun the reader. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you in all of your endeavors. Keep that pen handy and ever ready for use dear poet. Good luck in the contest!



♥ Touchof1der -
outstanding. rich...falls from the tongue with ease. bursting with color. pain's mouth-watering sting touched this reader. love your style...blunt and clear. excellent!! best wishes in the contest.





