Clinging thoughts,
that I never knew were there,
coming to taunt me in the night.
Haunting me as I lay next to the bumpy pillow,
that once held your sleeping head,
never shall it do so again.
I watch silently at the unmoving pillow
as the longing of my heart reaches out
trying to touch the lost companion
that would always be there for me.
The cry in the night comes,
comes from inside,
wanting to be free,
free of this unwanted torture.
Then I take a breath,
and remember your touch,
your love and care.
I feel the warmth of your arms
wrapping around my shivering shoulders,
telling me its okay,
for we will never be apart.
Author notes
Chocoholic156
A contest entry
- TITLES BY THE MILLIONS by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 18, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Hurts The Most by Ignis Corpus.
750 points, ended April 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You're a heartbreaker by flyingphoenix.
475 points, ended June 11, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breakups by slippingofftheedge.
300 points, ended August 22, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ways to Say Goodbye by Xombii.
500 points, ended October 9, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very beautiful write.
I love the idea that our loved ones will continue to be with us after they pass; it's comforting really.
Thank you for entering, -
sweet
is the last part supposed to be a dream? -
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no, its just the person imagining their "love" coming back to comfort them. I always imagine the dead to be able to watch over us, so I kind of played on that.
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this was very good to read. It starts off cold and sad, but i think by the end it feels a lot warmer.
This has great flow that keeps you reading, and makes you want to read it on. The imagery i had whilst reading was amazing and the emotion comes through really well.
Great write thanks for entering.
Sunny
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i like it
i like the last 4 lines the most
i dont dislike any of it
overall pretty good
thanks for entering my contest -
This is an amazing take on the promptt. I love hhow it tells a story as well as flows in poetic form. Very good work. Great use of puncuation to tell a story then just a free verse poem.
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