Two sided mirror
broken from stones,
is what killed me
Caused me to bleed
burgundy color blood
running down all over me
Crystal clear pain
took my faith away,
and I died inside
Not even doves
with wings of velvet
could save my embers;
shattered heart from sin
Bury me in only pearls,
I prefer ivy
over roses
Please ~~~
Author notes
Mirror Velvet Dove(s)
Embers Burgundy Faith
Stones Pain Bleed
Ivy Crystal Pearls
by loveandblessings2u
prompt #1.
A contest entry
- Poems Please by Violet Moodswing.
875 points, ended June 29, 2008, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Its all about the comments by Hello...No.One.Home.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sparrow Song by Shya.
800 points, ended September 17, 2008, 59 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I know this isn't suppose to be funny but the ending just struck me as hilarious. You prefer peals and ivy over roses.. i have no clue why it made me laugh. This poem has gotten a 12 excellent work. 71 total thus far. thanks for entering and best of luck to you. kahy
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"Caused me to bleed
burgundy color blood
running down all over me"
I'm so glad that you used a different word for red besides 'crimson' and 'maroon' :]
Thank you for entering and good luck! ♥
-Rainbow. -
What a wonderful work. Well deserving of gold trophy. To die inside where wings of velvet can not shelter a shattered heart. To bury in ivy over roses. This tickles the tongue as it is read. Good use of the poetic craft.
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WOW, this is so sad and honest, its beautifull.
A wonderfull write and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Rose
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This is an awesome poem. I love the darkness of this piece. I especially like the ending. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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While the darkness is evident in the write, it can be read from multiple perspectives. It could be about death, but it could also be about change and taking an honest look at ourselves. I love the ending.
Thanks for your entry. -
Oh, your poem is just lovely, and I thank you so much for entering...BUT...line requirement in the rules was ten. However, I truly liked what you wrote...Love, Lane
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This is great my friend!
Lovely imagery and I love
every word in this poem of yours.
Excellent as always and best of
luck to you in this contest!
Jeremy0826
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you have done an excellent write, and love your verses, each one vividly giving me a picture of your pain & stress...beautiful imagery...novy
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Nice take on the prompt
I really liked this sis, good luck to you.
e
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Twinsy,
Dark from you? That is unusual, but I like the read. Are you OK? As Michelle said, I am worried now
You did a great job on this one, but... from you, it is totally different!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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Awww Twinsy,
I am fine. I think I only wrote one other dark
poem in my whole life. Don't worry it is for a
contest only. You should know that if anything
was wrong, I would tell because you're my Twinsy
and we share everything. Thanks for the concern,
you're to sweet.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Ok, Had to ask Twinsy
Had me worried! And yes we do share everything don't we You are the greatest! I just love you!
and Wow! isn't Nyla getting big!! Much like my grandson... almost a year
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I am not used to you writing dark, you did well. I hope it is all fiction, I think it is, but heck, now I am worried...
That is the sweetest picture, I may have ever seen! Great poem my friend!
love ands,
Michelle
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Hi Michelle,
You are so sweet to worry.
I promise you that I am fine.
I was only writing fora contest.
Writing dark is so out of the
box for me. I was trying to write
something a little different.
I am not sure about this piece myself.
But I hope it is ok.
Anyway thanks for the concern,
you're a great friend.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
P.S. The picture is of my Nyla on Easter,
she is really growing. She turned one
on March 11th. Time really does fly LoL.
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Hmm...
This is pretty good - especially for you. For someone who isn't dark herself or has much difficulty, I have to say that this is really good. For the embers part, perhaps you can put a semicolon ( ; ). It should work there then. Other than that, good luck in the contest
Never ♥
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