Memories that ride the crest of thought that breaks into foam before they fully materialize and roll.
–Kelly Varner Johnson
Just trying to imagine how this must feel.
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What a vivid, helpful description. My Parkinson's is slowly doing me in. Incoming data is no problem (except for my vision - cataracts). It is my output of data that is messed up so badly by Parkinson's.
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The surfboarder rides the wave, searching ahead for shore, but finding none.
One day (metaphorically speaking), I will have perceive my existence and the reality of all existence around me without the benefit of my current perceptual abilities (sight, touch, taste, speech, smell). I will have no brain with which to interpret who I am or where I'm going. I will have have no language with which explain to myself when in the universe I am. I will have no eyes with which to perceive the reflections of the narrow spectrum of electromagnetic energy that we call "light."
Might it be that Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of dementia are simply the soul's way of preparing itself for the next step of the journey, of getting used to a new awareness that cannot submit itself to perception? A spiritual pre-mortum evolution? Put simply, a head start?
Just a theory. Be here now.
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My Mom just had heart surgery on Thursday. While me, one of my brothers, and my two sisters sat in the waiting room we were discussing my dad's mom who suffered from this overwhelming disease. There were times when grandmother was funny to us (we were young). For reasons unknown, we choose to only remember the times we were able to laugh at her behavior. The degeneration of the mind is a haunting experience and your single line depicts it with all the pain and inability to comprehend the effects it has on the person and the family. What I do remember that hurt more than anything else, was her being unable to recognize that daddy was her son, her youngest child at that.
I also worked on the Dementia/Alzheimer's floor at a Nursing home and got to see, first hand, for three years what the disease does to its victims. I used to have bad dreams. With my CRS (Can't Remember Shit) behavior, I pray I will never own the terror.
Sorry, for babbling but this disease also makes me ponder what it does to the human brain.
I hope you are well dear sister. I have missed you and your muse.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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So sad ... yet poignant expression ...
Such a very reflective and sensitive description, Kelly. Very touching.
Love
Myra
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Yep...gotta look out for that riptide
It's done more than one person in...
Thoughts spinning at 78
Recall working at but 33 1/3
And to top it all off
my dang needle is broke...
Hugs...Eddy -
This is and intresting way of looking at Alzheimer's. I often wonder about others thought prosess. Intresting comparing it to a wave.
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Hmmm.
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Thank you, Reese. I've looked many people in the eye who have this disease or dementia of some kind and it does cause me to stop and think.
Kelly
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Deep Kelly, I can't put my words into the right reflection to this to what maybe this deserves I hope I reflect or understand its depth fully though. Alzheimer's and Dementia are very sad it seems that with dementia the long term memory is sharp or can remain sharp for sometime. Least with my grandaddy they have the memory of long term there. The short term is what breaks and they roll into a cycle of sadly the disease where sadly things just aren't the same. They then have depend upon care because they can nolonger care for themselves. ♥
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I love the "breaks into foam" because it truly illustrates the confusion of thought and how it has broken up so much it can no longer be read.
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More like...
A veil of linen, lighter then thought, yet thinner then the lightest of fog, unpenetrable to the mind. Like receiving a visit from someone you've worked with for over 14 years and remembering only a vague face and not even the place or work you may have done. Losing memories everyone else has, but you will never have again. Thoughts unable to penetrate the cloud to become true thoughts. Partially formed? Not even that...rather just a desire to think and you can't. At times you are so clear, or so you think. But then, without rhyme or reason, your thoughts will not let you speak. A horror of disassociation. Where all there is in your head are pressures, not even desires, nor even intents or reason and it only gets worse each passing season. -
Interesting way of looking at this disease. Something that is there, but yet it's not - can't grasp the threads that connect it to the rest of the thought. Such a sad disease - a living death.
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