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You Made Me This Way

When you left me
It tore me apart
When you said good bye
I couldn’t bear being without you
When you walked away
I tried holding you back
But nothing worked
It was over
I tore through my room
Knocking everything on the floor
I hid there for so long
Starving myself
Because of you
And you know
You made me this way

Author notes

Username:
KittensPaw

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • LadyDementia gold member
    April 17, 2008

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    An intense piece, love it! You have really poured out the emotions and done it so well. A great read, good luck


  • Perception
    April 1, 2008

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    I want more! I want more description.. More tearing of the soul.. I want blood! (perhaps metaphoric blood)

    I want beautiful words used in your own specific way.... I like the use of beautiful language.. there are so may words beyond these... So many different ways of saying things.... I want power, raw power - this could be powerful if you used your words in such a way it was screaming at me. (I don't mean like capital letters)

    ~


    • BeautifullyBroken42
      April 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks I try to find different words but I'm really bad with hehe big words. Thanks for the comment i can always use this kind!

      ~Ruth~


  • Blooming Poet
    April 1, 2008

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    The pain is so powerful. Beautiful take on the title prompt. Its hard to be in htis situation, I can tell and i have been there before. Your poem is very well written and thanks for following the rules


  • BeautifullyBroken42
    March 30, 2008
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    Thanks guys and wow now that i think of it that could be bout anyone. haha cool!!!!!


  • Chocolate Chip
    March 29, 2008
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    writing delight is true. this could be about anyone and thus can relate to anyone. however, i'm trying to resist but in line 4, it should be "bear" instead of "bare". Sorry! it's wonderful other than that slight err but i think most people would overlook it.


  • BehindTheShadow
    March 29, 2008

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    I like how this was written. This could be about a dad who walked away... or an anorexic mom who died...or a true love gone wrong...point being, it is really relatable and emotive. Great work!!


  • evilbatwoman
    March 29, 2008

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    Exactly. I exactly agree. This is so true for so many people. I'm not sure if I'm just already emotional right now or what, but I feel it.

1 - 10 of 10