The night swallows his haunted form
A graveyard to forgotten souls
A residue of illumination blinks from the moon
A blinded beacon by the man-made light
And the lone one lingers in the dark
Clutching to the honor that is fading
Along with the brilliance of the moon
Duty commands his mind
But honor claims his heart
An honor which he cannot forsake,
Though it would cost him his life
The lives of others is spilled beneath his feet
The earth is mud not with water
But with the blood of his comrades
And thus the warrior goes forward
To take the last soul's life
His sword catches the eye of the watching stars
A glimmering emblem of a forgotten existence
A forgotten hope
A disregarded dream
Surrounded by the death of his enemies
The warrior is defeated in his triumph
The last blood that falls
Marks the end of a meaningless crusade
The victory of two equally noble and brutal foes
The battle of forgotten men
A tragic end to a bloody beginning
Leaves behind an empty night
The victory is devoid of breath
For when a war has no purpose
No aspiration, no faith, no honor
No vision
Its soldiers turn to ashes
And the battle into dust
A contest entry
- ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comment! lol
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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wow
Excellent read, the imagery is spot on, and quite inspiring, i really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing. xx
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Dude seriously - i havnt read all that much poetry but... this is by about a million miles the best poem ive ever read on this site. Im quite cynical normally but this simply kicks ass. I aint raed all the other finalists yet but if u dont win i'll probably have a seizure. My verdict - absolutely awesome
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WOW, very nicely written.
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this is a real comment
i had a headache, felt sick, was tired, and in a really bad mood when i wrote the other comment and i didnt feel like reading your poem properly
i love the title...its so bold and awesome
and the lone one lingers in the dark <--this stands out a lot for some reason...
the last two lines are the best...
i can imagine a battle field..muddy (with blood) and warriors dying...
its so..so...i dont know its...GOLD
*adds to finalist list and awaits day to judge..* -
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the titles awesome
i really like it...
im really tired right now and i dont feel like writing stuff and yeah... i might comment later again... so you an just ignore this one for now... i dont know why im doing this but i am... and i feel really stupid right now... -
Very good!
You have a grand style for creative writing.
I saw the tattered flags of war through the smoke,and the stench of death.
The broken soldier with no cause.
Loved it.
Thank you so much for taking time to read my work.
Knowing now what a fine writer you are it is a valued edition to my poetry.....
always remember what my what my Irish grandma said ,
she said.. Lowell..
Write something grand,
for you may be entertaining Angels,
Unaware.
Keep writing,
LOWELL POE
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It is creative genius
This is sooooo good! Brilliant! I agree with the other critiques. With line breaks your thought will get a chance to seep in. Thinking of Him has a good suggestion. Thanks for the best read of the night.
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meh! now i am torn: to separate it or keep it like this?! if it is really hard to read i will but i cant really tell...
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very very good poem
The lives of others is spilled beneath his feet
The earth is mud not with water
But with the blood of his comrades
And thus the warrior goes forward
To take the last soul's life
absolutely genius
oh, and don't separate this into stanzas, it works well like this
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hmm...its deep, and gives vivid imagery, i think this is a great piece, but try seperating it into stanzas, it will help it flow. and i dont mean to be rude or anything, but for lines 12,13, and 14, try this:
The lives of others spill beneath his feet
The earth is mud
not with water but blood
i just think that flows a little better. i'm sorry if i seemed a little rude or anything. -
Hm.... Very dark.... Very deep... I liked some of the lines... had some vivid imagery and I think you did a good job. I like your ideas...
I don't much like poems that are in big chunks like this - but that's ok. It just didn't flow as well as it should. But, that didn't take away from the actual content of the poem.
Great job
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Nice!
Its vivid, but it might help if you separated it into stanzas? I think it might allow it to flow a little better. Good work!
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that. is. the. most. POWERFUL. poem. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *speechless....*
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