crystal shards of light receding
beyond the mirror ball
as Lou Reed doves cry deeper dreaming
embers down the wall
needle stains of pain impeding
velvet underground
where Let it Bleed in burgundy
hits rolling stones of sound
to rush blind faith through ivy veins
with pearls in spirit drowned
Author notes
Using word bank:
Bleed Burgundy Crystal Dove(s) Embers
Faith Ivy Mirror Pain Pearls Stones
Velvet
A contest entry
- Let's Do Dark by Dalaney.
900 points, ended April 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
WOW...you hit the nail on the head with every verse...Great pearity with your use of names of bands...very clever write you talented Brit!!!


-
I love how you took this in the direction of angsty-rock songs. "Let it Bleed" seems familiar (though i can't remember what song or whom it is by... Staind or StaticX maybe?). "Velvet underground", "Rolling stones"... you are awesome!
I really enjoyed this. I can't believe you didn't win anything!

-
perfect.
i really love the
"melody" this poem
has - I am deaf, so
when I mean "melody"
it's really the "feel"
I get from the words
put together
Thank you for entering.
Love, Lane

-
Absolutly fantastic. SO hard to get all those words in 10 lines and you did it without flaw with quite the creative little twist there.
Superb write.






