Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Venus Infers

crystal shards of light receding
beyond the mirror ball
as Lou Reed doves cry deeper dreaming
embers down the wall
needle stains of pain impeding
velvet underground
where Let it Bleed in burgundy
hits rolling stones of sound
to rush blind faith through ivy veins
with pearls in spirit drowned



Author notes

Using word bank:

Bleed Burgundy Crystal Dove(s) Embers
Faith Ivy Mirror Pain Pearls Stones
Velvet

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • nevadapoet
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW...you hit the nail on the head with every verse...Great pearity with your use of names of bands...very clever write you talented Brit!!!


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you took this in the direction of angsty-rock songs. "Let it Bleed" seems familiar (though i can't remember what song or whom it is by... Staind or StaticX maybe?). "Velvet underground", "Rolling stones"... you are awesome!
    I really enjoyed this. I can't believe you didn't win anything!


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    perfect.
    i really love the
    "melody" this poem
    has - I am deaf, so
    when I mean "melody"
    it's really the "feel"
    I get from the words
    put together
    Thank you for entering.
    Love, Lane


  • jamiedoring
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutly fantastic. SO hard to get all those words in 10 lines and you did it without flaw with quite the creative little twist there. Superb write.