I could see daffodils,
a smile;
her gentle words
touched me inside.
I opened the barriers
and bared it all,
naked in the valley of love.
My would be assassin
smiled once more,
plundering each beat
of my heart.
Consumed,
eaten alive
taken to the cleaners
hung out to dry.
My love
playing overtime,
drip feeding
the smiling
assassin.
Author notes
Note: Maybe you have seen her smile like this before? But deep down in your heart you know it is only a matter of time before you let her go!!!
Author: Timespell **Heartbroken-HeadcAase**
A contest entry
- Sweetie, This Is What Broken Looks Like. by Heartbeatsxfading.
600 points, ended May 20, 2008, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartache/Lost love PW! by Brit-Girl.
400 points, ended August 2, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Askew by whispernthedark.
875 points, ended October 7, 2008, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Me, Love Me Not by Mary Jane..
575 points, ended November 26, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad, Upset, Hurt, Betrayed? by starving4perfection.
1550 points, ended April 26, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Unrequitted Love~ by vicisstus.
400 points, ended March 5, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything...Anything At All by Let.Me.Be.Dreaming.
400 points, ended September 19, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Agreed
Assassin is a great word to use! Good write!
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wow...im not suprisesd this has won so many trohies before! congrats, u might be getting another one!
i cant pick out a fave bit cause i love it all!
thanks for the entry and good luck
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I really like how you've used the metaphor "would-be assassin." This poem is great, thanks for entering it.
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wow, you really won alot with this poem. i really liked it. i can feel the pain in your words but also the love. thanks for entering.
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An intriguing comparison within the love and pain. Thank you for your entry!
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There was a lot of emotion for so little words which is exactly what i would be looking for in a conpetition... the background is a little bland but thank you for doing what i asked in the author notes
goo luck in the contest
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ty and gl
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your word choice in this rather creative... ^.^
not much else to say other than i thought it was very nice: you're description in various areas and such, as in....
very nice
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this is such an amazing poem - i see you've won a lot of awards with it - it is all well earned!!
<3 <3 <3
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Love the smiling assassin. Perfect write, and congratulations on your prior gold for it. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Cohen-esque
Very reminscent of Leonard Cohen. A great poem here!
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Simple, but to the point.
I like it.
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amazingly worded............
lovely work dear poet!!!
much love,
~Anagha~
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Great job. You have portrayed the feeling of being used by a 'lover' very well. Congratulations on your trophies. They were well deserved for this piece.
Mike
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This is excellent!! You did a very very beautiful job!! I love the imagery the detailks and how you described and portrayed this!! You did a very fantastic job!! This is absolutely lovely!! I admire this very much!! I love it!!
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The silent creams no one heard
I hear you here and been there and within the change of your mate no one heard the silent screams the need held back and often once broken apart blind eyes begins to see. Good write here
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I enjoy the way this poem meanders through the whole experience, touching on emotions and allowing the reader to look right into the subjects heart. brava!
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You've expressed your ideas quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
i like this poem, the flow is haphazard in places but overall you formed a great reading experience.
thank you for your entry,
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Okay, this kinda creeped me out and left me feeling likee someone was going to kill me in my sleep. Weird I know, but sso true. The flow is a little off and doesn't flow very well, maybe work on that.
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lovely and taunting!
I have truly missed you dear poet...you keep our hearts
beating strong and bold!
ears/Seattle
Gluttons for Punishment misses your strength!
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this poem seems incomplete. it gets moving , starts to flow like wind and then abruptly stops. mabey you could add to and extend this poem a bit. Good Luck
Jess -
I like the metaphor used here thanks for entering
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Flawless metaphor, a wonderful title as well, “the smiling assassin”. Quite similar to my contest's title.
Well done!
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What a poem of proud betrayal... this is gorgeous. Not a flaw in sight, as far as I'm concerned. Excellent job with this one. I envy your talent. =]
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