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Repeated Subtraction

Missing image

From their beginnings,

mortal gods created heaven on Earth.

On all seven days they rested,

and they felt that it was good.

And multiply they did.

Divide they did also,

until the fruitful hardly noticed

the milk and honey getting scarce.

They wrote books that made it holy

to pursue the goal of leisure—

to keep dividing amongst themselves,

for leisure's other name is progress.

Blessed are they, said the saints,

who turn nature into beauty.

Thus the wheel begat the wagon

begat the wonders of the world.

 

The tree of knowledge first was logged,

then genetically re-mastered—

sold as living room-sized hybrids

for the homes the rich ones built.

As they divided and divided,

progress multiplied and multiplied,

spread across the land,

rose up to dwell in heaven.

 

And the sun turned black as sackcloth.

And their fish and fowl went missing.

And they subtracted and subtracted,

until they finally equaled zero.

Author notes

Art credit:

From Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey," 1968

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Night Hope gold member
    October 28

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    This is what my husband Danny would refer to as being "bad math" (he also favorited you today after I read him your author's page contents) Grand penning, Scribe.




  • Kathraina silver member
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done with this piece.
    Good imagery throughout, and there's a nice flow to it.
    I like the tale you've woven here.
    Bravo



    ♥Kate


  • Coathanger
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    This is written in the style of a true writer. Faultless.


  • upperworld06
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    AWESOME.
    I don't really know what else to say.

    Thus the wheel begat the wagon
    begat the wonders of the world.
    Great lines, thanks for entering


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm. I don't think this fit in to what society is. It gives the biblical version of how the world was made mostly, and only a small part on what society is at the end. The religion threw me off a lot as I didn't want any religion in this contest. Thank you for entering.


  • Joseph Hollis
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very thought-provoking write. It speaks of the world today and the constant strain we put on our environment. We've become parasites. You've illustrated the transition from "the land of milk and honey" to the land of greed and money. There's much truth to be found here. Thanks for sharing.


  • nilav
    November 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    serious thought wrapped in humor is really enjoyable...

  • Bob Fox
    November 7, 2008

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    Many questions

    I must say I really enjoed this poem for as a reader of new age books it reminds me of the firstgods[ The Annunaki ] And again wetted my appetite to learn even more.


  • crivanea silver member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the book..2001..haven't seen the movie..but i love the pic also..3rd creatiion poem i read so far...still nice job w/ this..good flow...good thoughts..deep..good use of vocab..a very good poem..good luck in the contest


  • Nam
    June 6, 2008

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    "mortal gods created heaven on the Earth." - don't feel the use of "the" at the end is necessary.

    Seems like a longer poem but really doesn't need to be, works fine the way it is. A good poem that you have written here. Very insightful.

    -Nam


    • JustBe gold member
      June 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Agree.

      I don't like "the" there, either. Thanks for your helpful input, and I'm glad you liked the poem.


  • rhondasail
    April 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    For some strange reason this has made me laugh uproariously...I suppose it's the total rationality of it...like that old TV serial, Dragnet, when Detective Friday would utter the words, 'Just the facts ma'am, just the facts'...loved it! Peace, Rhonda


  • Bull3t2b1n0ry
    April 4, 2008
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    very good good luck and thanks for the entry

  • scoff
    March 29, 2008

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    The irreverence is delightful

    as you skewer those who would, through the message of their actions, have us believe that taking is as good as giving and hoarding is the same is sharing.

    Eventually, if we don't change directions, it will come to naught. Yes, I mean zero.

1 - 16 of 16