Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Crime & Conscience

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crime & Conscience

 

 

Ah, regret.
Yes, I remember -
the discomfort that came
with those moving last words.
Such morality is priceless.
What if all of it were mine?
A wave of eloquence came on,
and I murdered him on paper.


By men of pious will and gentle hand,
With vigor was damnation's highway laid.
Remorse is mine, as av'rice doth demand.
I too have broken ground with pick and spade.


Dressed in tailored silk pathos,
he was put on display
for a room full of strangers,
who all thought he looked natural.
They bowed their heads.
I said something respectful.
We buried him in the page.
May his soul rest in peace.


As men employ the same in sowing seed,
I likewise plant reproach in fertile ground,
And to it tend with due redress of deed,
That thus might virtue sprout and growth abound.


I stole away with his diary,
set sail aboard a metaphor,
bound for sunny island paradise
just off the coast of hell.
Now I sip coconut-flavored drinks,
dangle toes in the surf,
plagiarize with impunity
in iambic pentameter.
The pundits say my counterfeits
are fresh and original.
For an intellectual, you see,
no effort is necessary.


For he shall reap naught from that earthly womb
Whose canny thought begets no honest toil.
The season'd coax what blossoms from its tomb,
Ere it forever rot in fecund soil.


Work is for the birds.
Hope you enjoy mine without me.
Feel my guilt while you're at it.
(Do let me know how that goes.)
Because I'm drowning my crimes
in this bottle of nowhere,
and I will never have to leave
while repentance still sells.


O hie me not to depths where devils loom.
Tonight I sleep, serene as splendor's bloom.


My flaws are magnificent.
Introspection is vandalism.
Beauty is what happens
when I kill time and wisdom.
Come revel in my brilliance.
Help me launder my hubris.
The stagnation is breathtaking.
People tell me it's art.

Author notes

Be human. Be wrong sometimes. Make mistakes, and gain insight from the life lessons they teach you. Write poems about those lessons if it suits you. If your work is good enough, people who read it will give you plenty to feel good about.

If you are willing and able, you can look closely at yourself and say insightful things about what you see in ways that make people really think; and if you are also desperate and clever, you can do it without learning anything. Kill your conscience. Fill your ego with the praise you receive until your pride strikes you blind. How ironic: A pretty pearl of wisdom becomes just a pearl, and you miss your own point entirely.
Did you get that? Now ask yourself why I wrote this poem.



This is really sort of like three poems: a sonnet, a free-write, and a conglomeration of both. Both components have distinct meanings, but if you put them together as they are here, they play off of each other.

The left-justified section is written to mimic the language and style (if certainly not the substance) Shakespeare used in his sonnets ... which were obviously written in iambic pentameter.

A contest entry

Please say something useful.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Night Hope gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    I most heartily approve of your conglomerations and conflagrations, Scribe. Most heartily, indeed. And the formatting is again, impeccable. I did a right-justified piece once. It just seemed to confuse everyone.



  • Grey.Area.
    October 6
    Edit | Reply
    This is inspirational and spiratual. Even your authors comments are poetic !!!!!!


  • sighingflosser.
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    the format threw me off, as well as the first few lines of the first stanza. but the ending is good enough to enable you into the finalists. congrats.


  • plainoljoe
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    I believe there could be nothing more appropraite for the current situation. I see a reflection of myself that displeases me and must be overcome. Being wrong sometimes and learning from the mistakes one makes helps us to grow both spiritually and intellectualy

    Joe


    • JustBe gold member
      September 28
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, how truly ironic that you would randomly click on this poem instead of one of my others. People might disagree about what to call god, but whatever it is, it's not hard to see it teaching us a thing or two when we need a kick in the pants. That's why I can go to a church service and have a spiritual experience, even though I don't agree with important parts of what's being said. Words are a human invention. Wisdom is not.

      Thanks for reading.


  • rainboots
    September 26
    Edit | Reply
    A good well thought write. Really love the last ending words. Thanks for entering.


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you think and write, science and poetry
    well rounded
    you do have talent
    after reading this I am amazed your many sides
    you are perfectionest
    it is written all over this poem
    one of the best poem I have read in quite a while
    God bless you my friend...


    • JustBe gold member
      September 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your compliments. I'm glad you liked the poem.


  • jessica rabbit.
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    I wish I had something witty, intelligent, or helpful to say, in order to leave a legitimate, reasonable comment.

    But really, I'm dumbfounded because I could only hope to measure up to this writing caliber. I don't normally favorite people based on one poem, due to the spamming nature of some here on AP.. but man, I'm willing to make exceptions.

    Kickass.

    • JustBe gold member
      August 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your compliment! In truth, I haven't changed this poem at all in quite awhile. I check the box for critical feedback on all of my poems, no matter how polished they are. Seems to be a reasonably effective way of getting comments only from people who have taken a moment to really read and think about the poem in question. If all a reader has to say about a poem is, "Nice flow and great imagery," why bother, right? In your case, sounds like you really enjoyed the poem. This poem is one of my favorites, and I appreciate hearing that. I also love it when people shred my poems and help me make them better, but I've spent so many hours obsessively editing this one, I'm not sure how much more work really remains to be done on it.
      Anyway, thanks again.
      ~Morgan


  • bw43
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    before i got to your author comments, i was thinking this was three different pieces in one.... the black, the red... and then both together. very interesting. i myself am not a fan of old English... i kind of saw it as the inner thoughts of the right side... i don't know. this is a complex piece. i've been away from poetry too long to say anything useful. lol. sorry :-(

  • excellent,,,, rfreshingly different
    the stagnation is breathtaking
    man what an epic line?
    this is among the finest work i have read on here
    you rock
    T


  • SubKitten
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    This seems almost like a two-voice poem, which is an interesting effect. Overall, the flow of this was flawless - very smooth and strong. The mood of this is something most people can relate to, which is a wonderful touch in any piece. A wonderful write!


  • mysterious.angel
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    This is the fisrt piece i have read by you its very insightful though it sounds like you know what you are talking about however you might want to fix the way you typed it out i kept getting confused when i would go back up to reread a part good write keep it up


  • CelticQueen
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I've only read two or three

    of your pieces so far, but I'm finding a couple of things I expect I will see in all of them: incredible use of the English language and a high level of introspection.

    They are not easy pieces - they require thought. I'm learning that I must take them in bits and come back to them more than once. This one is no different. I've read about half of it and will be back to read the rest - after I read the first half again.

    You are quite a writer - and though I hate to admit it (after reading your profile page!), quite an intellect. You writing is definitely worth reading!

    I'll be back.

    Cynthia


  • poetryality silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your insight into the habits of humankind is very well expressed here dear poet. Shakespeare inspired you, and it suits your writing very well. Thank you for this entry and please forgive my delay in commenting. Sometimes my life steps in and I must follow those footprints and take a stay away from AP.

    Love these lines:

    "My flaws are magnificent.
    Introspection is vandalism.
    Beauty is what happens
    when I kill time and wisdom."




    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wowww, very well written! I love how you wrote this poem. It was very creative and unique, and I love how the ideas just flowed so smoothly from line to line. Incredible ! Congrats on the trophies


  • new born
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this! It's wicked and uremorseful. I didn't get it until I read the AN, but I still liked it. Claps for originality and evil humor.


  • Nam
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Reproach I likewise plant in fertile ground," - the beginning of this line seems a tad shaky in that the "I" is after "Reproach" instead of before.

    "Work is for the birds, anyway." - going with the vocabulary of this poem, I feel "anyway" is a bit out-of-place. Perhaps a variant.

    Other than what I mention above, a really great poem. Nothing more to say than that.

    -Nam


  • rhondasail
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rewording anothers words...clever write here...I don't know that I could write so well as this, but I do appreciate reading such scathing self-expose. There's a haughtiness in your writing that seems almost bitter, as though you've become jaded by your own talent and scoff at it, asking others to either learn or scoff with you...I may be way off base here, but that's my sense of this one. And the idea of plagiarizing seems to really tick you off too..Peace, Rhonda


  • Perception
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Omgosh. This is amazing. The words you use -- the metaphor - this is amazing. Really deserving of trophy.
    Wow. Just. Wow.


  • cover fire hero
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Finalist

    I thought it was really good, kind of like a confession.


  • hilly
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol, you don't have to bribe to get a critique. and anyone that will give a critique solely for having hundreds of points won't give you a good one anyway. i wasn't going to comment, but you are sounding a bit pathetic. although i understand.

    anyways, i love it. i think people haven't commented yet because they don't know how to approach it, and they don't feel like they're at a level where they're allowed to give opinions. i don't really feel like i am either, but i definitely love it. i'm not much for shakespeare type of stuff, but i really loved the stuff on the right. you had to kind of get into every line individually, because ideas were quick. i think thats why i loved it so much.

1 - 23 of 23