Give to me the life love...
It wakes my love in my skin,
after the long winter of torpor,
walked there, where the pain drives,
in arid paths, without color.
I feel now in the faces, the blush
in my white unconscious skin,
a color lets appear
of alabaster, on the inside illuminated.
Heart, when hibernated, is heated
stands up, sniffing, of soul's hole,
where only your memories remain.
Weaves, (while, it cheers up, I go to the hunting),
with your foot putting spinning its rock,
where spindle pulls the thread, is not frayed.
Author notes
Prompt: 4. Give to me the life I love
A contest entry
- Second Index of First Lines by Keith.
525 points, ended April 12, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Interesting treatment of the line. You've actually missed the I out in the poem. The original's by R.L. Stevenson, and I must admit I find it difficult to get it out of my mind:
The Vagabond
Give to me the life I love,
Let the lave go by me,
Give the jolly heaven above,
And the byway nigh me.
Bed in the bush with stars to see,
Bread I dip in the river -
There's the life for a man like me,
There's the life for ever.
Let the blow fall soon or late,
Let what will be o'er me;
Give the face of earth around,
And the road before me.
Wealth I seek not, hope nor love,
Nor a friend to know me;
All I seek, the heaven above,
And the road below me.
Or let autumn fall on me
Where afield I linger,
Silencing the bird on tree,
Biting the blue finger.
White as meal the frosty field -
Warm the fireside haven -
Not to autumn will I yield,
Not to winter even!
Let the blow fall soon or late,
Let what will be o'er me;
Give the face of earth around,
And the road before me.
Wealth I ask not, hope nor love,
Nor a friend to know me;
All I ask, the heaven above,
And the road below me.
Your version is probably as far from Stevenson's as we might get. But it has a lot of good lines in it. I like:
Heart, when hibernated, is heated
Good alliteration. Thanks for entering.
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