Aspens shivering among the towers
rivulets winding beneath the sky
an isle, lonely eyed, yet cheery
near the road the lilacs frilly
beneath a mountain fall that sings
and rustles through fields shimmering
trod by heavy horse and knights
there shadowed in her magic mirror
through which she views the dim world's light
misting in a distant eye
imprisoned in her chamber where
dark oaken walls let small rays find
cracks upon the mirror’s side…
Her dusty countenance then spied
between the shifting moonlit tides
his mighty armor ringing bright
silver bugle glittering
up to her window a hopeful gaze
to seek hers in return inlaid-
but to the window she dare not stray…
By magic mirror’s eerie light
she watches as his gaze alights
upon her room, her darkest mood
cursed to never leave her loom
or to the window stray inviting
he who would claim her heart tonight…
Long he stayed in hopeful muse
singing softly merry tunes
long the shadows of the day
whispered curses, whispered doom
until at last when robins tucked
their wings to fend the nightly frost
he rode away with heavy heart
without a glimpse of the lady dark…
Her broken breast pounded fast
she deemed to make this night her last!
She broke the mirror, its magic cast
about the room, then out into
the night which lured her in a trance…
At river she found a boat
upon the prow she wrote her name
she loosed its chain, was born away
singing in her milky robes
to tree and sky and banks that moaned
as her blood was frozen slow;
nearing the towers of Camelot
past the wharfs and houses high
she passed her knight, who there decried,
"Such beauty graced and so denied…"
So ends the Lady of Shalott
from an island her castle bought
upon a river among the fields
that held a heavy-handed curse
that weighed her with unbid mischance
out in the light forbade to glance
a magic mirror binding her
to see the world in shadows dim
until breaking heart, mirror, curse
was carried by the river's current
past her beloved Camelot.
a retelling of The Lady of Shalott by Alfred Lord Tennyson
Author notes
yes, it is long, but it should read fast and carry you quickly through...
poetic retake of the story The Lady of Shalott as written by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Synopsis- The Lady of Shalott lives in a castle on an island in the river; is cursed never to look out her window toward Camelot, she can see the world through her magic mirror. Sir Lancelot rides near, she is drawn to the window and looks upon him, it is her end.
A contest entry
- Inspirational by takemypainaway.
300 points, ended April 2, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I will admit that this did go by really, really fast. The rhyme was smooth & I didn't even mind because my eyes were just gliding now the page.
I'm not sure, from a personal standpoint, that this poem was my favorite. I think it was creative to take a story & tell it in your own way, but I just didn't connect with it. The climax was obvious, but it didn't hit me like I hoped for.
I can definitely see your connection to the picture though, so that was nice tidbit. haha
This would make for good children's lit. to a certain extent. :]
-
-
funny how I think that a word here and a piece of punctuation there can make all the difference, so I edit...! and thanks for your reaction... children's lit! I'll have to make sure there's nothing erotic in it...
-
-
What was your picture again, Wayne? haha :] I haven't read this yet, I was just looking for the picture. xD
-
-
Hey! You're right, what happened to my picture link? (and she was intriguingly cute, too!) Oh yes, the link is on the contest page... let me go fetch it...
#17
link to pic:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4069924
Oh, I see we have a cut 'n paste problem here! Ok, rolling up my sleeves...
ah yes, here it is, the link in all it's glory...
http://www.gettyimages.com/Search/Detail.aspx?axd=DetailPaging.Search|1&axs=0|sb10064896al-002%2c74057587%2crbrb_1432%2c57284133%2c57281574%2c667804-001%2c76207524%2c72096762%2c816553-001%2c200417773-006%2csb10065797a-001%2ctlp241399%2csb10065926e-001%2ctlp1042424%2csb10065926t-002%2c200268119-004%2c75470107%2c200546856-002%2c200335998-001%2csb10067096c-001%2c79532342%2csb10065623b-003%2c77369509%2csb10060766e-001%2csb10066907v-001%2c79754989%2c76161001%2csb10064359h-002%2csb10066020b-001%2c76849387%2csb10066020s-001%2c71101996%2c76842289%2c72885702%2c79416895%2csb10066233am-001%2c72025056%2c73126342%2c79244822%2csb10063117j-002%2csb10065797a-002%2csb10064838i-001%2c79365598%2c75285773%2c75311905%2csb10066129i-001%2csb10063117l-003%2csb10065661b-001%2csb10065472e-001%2c71736568%2c73502722%2c78765845%2csb10066328g-002%2c73713079%2c76526508%2csb10066488be-001%2c200556063-001%2ctlp277050%2c200532405-003%2c79002218|0&id=73502722
or if you prefer the boring one http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m130/ChasexCHAOS/73502722.jpg
-
-
Nice... i like this... yes it was long but it was good at the same time... very well done. The flow easily carried me through and didn't bore me... fabulous! good luck! Meg
-
-
oooo, thanks, oooobeebaybee (that's what I read when I first saw your name! sorry!) nothing like the critical eye of the opposite gender to get me to reread it and improve it in several needed places...
-
-
This typical "type" of poem normally makes me want to puke when reading it... but you seemed to do the opposite.
I really enjoyed this and the way you told the story and the imagery was different, witch is what I don't like about that typical type...
You really carried us through the situation and held lots of emotion for us to feel
Well done! and Good luck!
-
-
I like your 'witch'! Yes, these are usually so dull and boring, that's why I attempted this... and an extra star just for commenting- it got me to reread it and make about fourteen improvements...
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
