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Broken Hallelujah

He stood at the tracks,
watching that golden flame of the setting sun,
slash to that bloody red.

The whistle sounded in the distance.

Lost souls scream in the fleeting stop it takes,
bumping his toes.

The tracks stood and he was lost in the steam.

Swept away.

His soul wept and cried with the others...hallelujah.

Not bound for heaven,
nor for hell.
That gleaming light can never tell...
your lost and carried away...
broken soul.....

 

 

Hallelujah.

 

 

 

Fighting now to power the train,

you wish to leave,

yet you remain.

That's all you did in life.......regret....

 

But now As if it is no more,

You hung your neck in the door.

 

They scream they cry,

He is dead..but why

they never knew he wanted to die...?

 

Now he sings that cold and broken 

Hallelujah....





 

Author notes

Give Jade Lips

Dashvin

A contest entry

Cold and broken.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Nicotine Eyes
    March 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oooooo, Nicely done. I liked this one very much! Thanks and good luck.


  • Keystone Theater
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is a very good poem, and telling an interesting story. It's a harrowing story you've written and it kept me entertained throughout.


  • ixtli
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woah. I really like the feel of this poem. The imagery is breathtaking. You have a way with creating interesting stories in your poetry. Another beautiful piece!

    • Inverted-Hearts
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for reading!

      the actual picture it's based off of is breathtaking!
      It's on the contest page.


  • Devoted Huntress
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. Words that can express so many things. Like that of one who died, not yet ready to accept it. Though, on line 10, should it not be wept instead of lept?

    Either way. You did quite a wonderful job on this piece. Keep up the good work.

1 - 8 of 8